Friday, March 11, 2005

Vanity

I ran into a friend last week from my little hometown out west. (LA) He's the host of a very popular syndicated radio show that runs on hundreds of stations across the country during the overnight hours. Let's call him "Blair." Because that's his name.

I hadn't seen him for a year, and I barely recognized him. He has lost a TON of weight! Not literally, wise ass. I must say, I never considered Blair heavy - at least no more than I am - just a little on the beefy side. So I was really shocked to hear that his secret to weight loss was gastric bypass. Gastric bypass, the Al Roker surgery. (gosh, Roker surgery, Atkins diet, Gehrig's disease... how can I get something named after ME?)

Blair looks healthy, thin and happy... so obviously it was a positive move. I just thought gastric bypass was a measure taken by those considered obese, I was unaware it was available to anyone now. I was really shocked. Feel free to substitute the word "shocked" with "envious."

I'm now thinking about having the procedure done. I need to call Blair and find out more. I'm about 25 pounds overweight right now, but I need to lose it fast. I have a wager with a friend that says I'll either lose more weight than him by April 15 or pay him a ridiculous amount of money.

Oh yes, it all comes down to the almighty dollar. You didn't think I was actually concerned about my HEALTH, did you??

I should point out, I'm over 6'3", so an extra 25 pounds isn't the worst to look at. I just have a beer gut.

I prefer to think of it as a "shed for the horse." (cocky sniff)

2 comments:

Kerouaced said...

From what I've read Gastric bypass is generally reserved for extremely obese people because it is a somewhat risky procedure. If you're looking to lose a lot of weight before your weigh in, diuretics under a doctor's supervision will do the trick.

Dave Morris said...

No, actually it was just an any-animal-needs-shelter reference, no inference of any kind.