Sunday, August 26, 2007

Kid Nation

Reality television scores another huge victory, as CBS (Children Being Screwed) wraps up taping of what I'm sure will be a highly viewed reality series, "Kid Nation."

Synopsis of the show: Forty children between the ages of 8 and 15 are dropped off in an abandoned New Mexico desert town and left to fend for themselves without adult intervention (except of course for the grown-up camera crews poised to capture all the action.)
The network is taking alot of heat about the concept of the show, and rightly so. But why would I be particularly harsh on the network? Oh sure, they dreamed up the idea, had their attorneys draw up the 22-page non-disclosure and indemnification agreement (which also absolves the network of responsibility in the event of injuries - the attorneys even thought to include sexually transmitted diseases) and taped the whole thing, but c'mon. It's really the PARENTS WHO AGREE TO ALLOW THEIR CHILDREN TO PARTICIPATE that I take issue with.

So a closed circuit message to those people:

You are stupid. You allow a television network to take your child out of school and put them in a "town" without you (and with minimal adult supervision) and let them fend for themselves.

Then, when something does happen (and who couldn't predict that???) you bitch to the media that your child was injured. Hey "mom and dad," you knew the risks, but for a little fame and five grand, you were willing to risk it.

You, the parents of the children who "star" in Kid Nation, are witless, and should be stripped of your parenting license. (if there were such a thing, and don't you wish there were)

It's more than just this one show. And it isn't the kids, but the parents, who are responsible for the popularity of shows like this, or networks like MTV (M T&A). They allow their kids to do whatever they want. To run amok. Watch whatever, do whatever... hey, they need to learn to express themselves, they need the freedom to make their own way and be who they are.

You are the same parents who allow their children to scream at the top of their lungs, run from table to table in restaurants, throw fits when they don't get their way and hit or yell at you in disrespect. They are spoiled, loud, narcissistic meglomaniacs.

And you know what, people? You get what you deserve. If you allow your child to participate in a TV show, get burned by a grease fire, sunburned until scarring takes place or catch an STD, it's all on you.

And hey CBS... anything for money, right?

Tuesday, August 21, 2007


Life is all about momentum.

I'd need a doctor to confirm or deny it, but cataclysmic medical issues aside (such as cancer or heart attack) you die when you lose your momentum.

My grandmother worked in a restaurant, lugging plates of food and platters of drinks until about a year before she died. She decided it was time to "retire," so she quit. The problem is, she didn't have anything else to DO after that... so she sat in her house watching television and eating the same thing... day after day... until she died.

And all it took was a year.

Pray the day never comes when you hear Mom say "I think I'll skip my walk today." Or from Dad, "I'm too tired to go to the strip joint."

You must keep moving forward. To slow down too much is to stop. And we all know what stopping means.

I'm writing this down... so in 40 years, I won't forget.


As we prepare for the baby's arrival, Emily and I are each working on our individual preparation projects. She is shopping for outfits, diapers, wall decorations for the nursery...

I went shopping for this.
It's a high definition hard-drive camcorder. If we're having a baby, we need to record as much of him or her as possible. I don't have a lot of video of Courtney when she was little. Sure we rented a camcorder for the big events, but we have very little footage of her everyday cuteness. That will change with little "Earl" or "Earlene." (only temporary names, don't worry)

As you've probably gathered, electronic gadgets are my weakness. I sit around all day playing with this thing. I've videoed the dog and cat, Emily lying in bed with morning sickness, a Mexican guy fixing the telephone lines behind our house, even us watching a baseball game... at home in our living room. WTF?

I think I'll tape myself taking out the trash later.


Nothing is spookier (besides maybe Hannibal Lector or Rosie O'Donnell without makeup) (or Rosie O'Donnell with makeup) than finding out somebody else is living their life... as you.

I found out a guy in Indianapolis is working and living under my exact name and social security number. I received a letter from the IRS saying I hadn't claimed some income from 2005, because I failed to report my W2 from a brick and shale company based in Tennessee.

When the smoke cleared, I learned (through local law enforcement and the feds) that an illegal immigrant has been using my name and SS# for three years, in order to work and live in the US. I can't imagine where he got my info, but I'm hoping by now he's been arrested and his ass is sitting on a bus back to Mexico.

This immigration thing MUST be fixed. This is the second time in seven years that my identity has been stolen.

Now I just need to find a way to convince Master Card that it was that Mexican guy who fraudulently charged a new camcorder to my account.


I'm in the middle of a complete redesign of my website, planning a wedding, planning for the arrival of a child, organizing my office and recording studio, getting the odds and ends of my life cleaned up... as you can see, I have a few things on my plate. Sorry I haven't posted in a while, and when I finally did, it wasn't that interesting.

PS - I just noticed that Google now lets you add video directly to your blog posts. Sweet! I have some great footage of me clipping my toenails in HD.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Big Daddy Dave

You may choose to skip this entry, some of it might be boring. It's more or less a personal perspective of where I am right now, and where we're going as a family. More of journal entry, really.

Lightning Bug's Butt has called me Big Daddy Dave for as long as I can remember. I'm not sure why - maybe he had a premonition that I'd sire a child soon. ("sire a child" - I sound like a horse... although it would be "sire a colt" I guess) I regard the nickname as one of those oddities I can't explain.

It's weird how your goals and motivations change when you find out you're going to be a parent. Women tend to begin nesting pretty quickly - they start picking out clothes, furniture, cleaning the house, getting the baby's room organized, the warm-fuzzy stuff.

Men start thinking of ways to provide for the family. I've been on a kick to do some things I've been meaning to do for a while, such as updating my demo audio, getting my business matters organized, aggressively pursuing new business, etc. In just a week I've signed two new clients, and have another big one ready to go. Pretty exciting, considering all I needed to do was get off my lazy butt and DO it.

I had become complacent. I have more than enough business to pay our bills and support our lifestyle. But with a baby on the way, we have the future to worry about now. It's not enough to be OK today, we have to be OK for twenty more years. In just a few days and with some aggressive moves... my business grew five percent. In another month or two, I have no doubt I can hit twenty to thirty percent.

I remember when I was first building my business... it was sink or swim. I chose to swim, and it took hard work and long hours, but things worked out. That's what it feels like now... like I'm starting over from scratch with the renewed energy and enthusiasm I've lacked for a little while.

Dr. Mike has it right when he says this is the perfect time to be a father. He is also in his low 40's. He has Ella, who is one year old, and he and Paula are trying to have another. I agree with his philosophy - we are having kids when we can actually enjoy them. Not that Courtney (my 18 year old) didn't provide fulfillment, meaning and purpose to my life, but I made almost no money back then, worked 50 and 60 hours a week and had the patience of a 25-year-old.

Imagine how things will be different this time. I make twenty times the money, have tons more patience, and I work from home. I have a flexible schedule that will allow me to spend quality time with the baby, take him or her to the park, to school, to play dates, etc. The same with Emily. She's getting her PhD in psychology and will open a practice, which will eventually allow her to set her own hours and really be a parent.

I'm really looking forward to the whole thing. I was hesitant about having more children, and being the selfish bastard I am, was close to deciding against it. I'm glad we made the decision we did.

We had our first ultra-sound yesterday. We got 3-D pictures and saw the heart beating. What an amazing ride this is going to be!

Monday, August 13, 2007

Dang! - a weekend update

I didn't get my office painted over the weekend, my back was too sore. I'm thinking about heading to the doctor, I might have a slipped disc or cancer or something.

A bunch of friends went to see Bourne Ultimatum yesterday... totally great flick. Lots of action, really intense story line... the only thing I can even remotely complain about is the camera work. It's the shaky stuff. You know, like the camera operator is trying to follow the action and send a text message at the same time.

It looks like there will be more sequels after "Ultimatum," the ending was wide-open. I'm glad Ada lent us the first two movies. After seeing the third one, I'm like a fat kid in a donut shop.

Not sure what that means.

We went with two other couples. I can't remember ever attending a movie with a group of people - it's always been me and one other person. It was fun, although Dr. Mike kept flipping me off and throwing popcorn. Paula, please control your subject.

So all-in-all, I'm glad I didn't paint my office. Dave procrastinates again, what a shock!


Sixty mile per hour winds woke me up at midnight last night. OK, actually the dog (who was freaked-the-hell-out) woke me up, but you get the picture.

I love storms. There's just something exciting about watching the lightning across the sky and feeling the ground shudder when thunder booms. And hearing the sump pump kick on. And resetting all the clocks. And picking up limbs.

OK, so storms suck.

I was hoping to see some of the meteor shower last night, but was unable because of clouds. Did you get a look from your location???

Friday, August 10, 2007

Wilt thou?

Over 100-degree highs for the forseeable future. Oh, sure - they say by next Thursday we may dip down into the low 90's, but weather guys are about as reliable as coal mine operators.


On the weekend schedule, we're headed to a St. Louis Cardinals game tomorrow, where game-time temperatures will be around 100 and humidity will make it feel like 110. If our seats are in the sun, we might just head down the street to Mike Shannon's restaurant, sit at the bar and watch the game in high def. Three or four dirty martinis with bleu cheese olives will make me think I'm still at the game.

Plus, they are about the same price as a small beer at the ball park. I'd make that trade all day, every day!


I love painting. And when I say "love," I'm really saying "never ending hate." This Sunday I will be painting my office. That is, if the searing pain in my lower back subsides.

I can lift 50 pound bags of potting soil, dog food or whatever all day, then lean over to pick up a sandwich and be out of commission for a friggin' week. Back problems are a recurring thing for me... much like marriage, only less expensive and I don't end up hating my back and thinking of ways to exact revenge upon it.

Oddly enough, I originally injured my back loading my stereo up when I got divorced the first time. I find that kind of funny!


Irony: Writing your final child support check on July 19, and finding out you are having a new baby exactly one week later.

My favorite thing in life is being a father. I've gotten more satisfaction and enjoyment from it than everything else in my life combined. I can't wait for April 6th!

But it's still ironic.


Tivo is an amazing tool. It has done more for television than anything else I can think of for the past 30 years. We are definitely a Tivo household... we have four. Tivo is my crack.

Do you have Tivo? If so, do you ever find yourself catching a glimpse of a chick in a bikini as you fast-forward through a commercial break, then actually scan back through the commercials to get a look?

Yeah, me neither.

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Taurus rising

Prejudice: an unfavorable opinion or feeling formed beforehand or without knowledge, thought, or reason.

For years, I've been pre-judged because I am a Taurus. Oooh, I must be one stubborn son-of-a-bitch... after all, I'm a BULL. Bull in a china shop, bull headed... all of that. And while I may be stubborn sometimes, most of it is bull shit.

So I was ever so slightly offended, but mostly just disappointed as I listened to a group of people tell me what our new baby will be like based on the fact he or she will be an Aries. "Oh my, Aries children tend to be collicky, and they take longer to potty-train."

Hey, the little tike's Dad is an asshole, that's factual, and far more impactful.

The irony is, none of these people really realized what they were doing. They were pre-judging him/her "without knowledge, thought or reason." (no, the zodiac calendar isn't considered reason) Come on, folks... it's 2007! Do we still insist on judging people based on where the sun was during their birth? I will save you some time - it was in the sky.

The same group of people would never judge someone based on color... these are all reasonable, thoughtful people. Yet they will say that Bob can't possibly marry Sally... she's a Capricorn with Mars rising, and he's a Pisces with Moon in retrograde. That would never work!

How about Bob's gay? That would be a reason.

Reading tea leaves? Same thing, it's all bullshit. You'd be better off sniffing the person's middle finger. A "breakthrough" can really ruin a day. The tea leaves will only tell you if they backwash.

Although I do love me some chinese fortune cookies.

(yeah thanks Confucius. I already knew that)

Saturday, August 04, 2007

A picture says a thousand words...

So FIVE pictures would be, like... um. Well anyway, I was never good at math.

Car air conditioners have changed a lot through the years. Apparently this is the latest incarnation. When we were returning from a night out recently, we stopped for gas in a sort of bad part of town. It proved to be a rich stop for us.

A closer look shows that the guy apparently didn't want anyone to steal his AC. He's installed the newest security and locking system.

We attended the boxing matches last night, and included was a righteous chick fight. These girls turned it on from bell to bell without letting up. Notice the picture is blurry. That's how fast they were moving. That, or the beer I was drinking affected my photography prowess.

Naw, they were moving fast.

Token photo from the dude fight. Nobody really wants to see it anyway, so we'll move on.

For Sale: One slightly used Sprint PocketPC. All documentation, charging base, original box included. It was only driven to church on Sundays. If you'd like to buy it, email me.