Saturday, March 05, 2005

Random Previous Post #5

St. Louis Rams suck.

I was forced to rise at a ridiculously early hour this morning after staying up a little too late the night before. Tawnya worked into the wee hours, making dessert for the girls in her Bunko group... she's hosting a party tonight for twenty players... and I tried to keep her company, but I forced myself into bed prematurely to avoid the morning headache which accompanies lack of sleep.

My wife is serving homemade lasagna, salad, dinner rolls... and dream pie & fudge for dessert. And of course, I can't have any. "It's for the girls!"

So the boys and I will head to Frailey's to watch Monday night football and drink beers. And I won't bring her any.

Mom's here visiting for the week, so we're telling stories and catching up. I was just thinking about fears our parents instill in us, as I was handing her a particularly robust pair of scissors. I began thinking about how long she terrorized me by making me believe I could possibly fall on a pair, driving them deep into my own chest... even though I haven't fallen in that manner since I was - oh, 6. As if somehow my wrist would encounter a strange centrifugal force and turn at just the right moment (called the "shear instant") and become a deadly dagger of death. An inadvertent self-serve bayonet.

Remember Mom telling you how it is dangerous to lick the peanut butter knife? Again, as if you could find a way to fall face-first directly onto it, driving it deep into your skull via your PB&J hole... causing severe life-threatening esophageal lacerations.

Deadly, horrifying pseudo-SWORDS, those butter knives.

Talk about irrational mother-imposed fear.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ahhhhhhh......haven't fallen in that manner since the age of 6? Have you forgotten the San Diego Zoo already?

~kimberly~ said...

To this day when I go through Fremont NE a childhood fear sneaks up in my chest. There is this "group home" there on the west side of town, and when we were younger, my parents used to threaten to take us there and leave us, if we didnt behave. :(