I do not wear panties.
During a particular lull in the activities (wait, baby showers are one big lull*), and after seeing slogans on the baby shirts, I decided any slogan I could write would blow away the ones I'd seen so far.
So I set out writing my own phrases for Sparky's shirts:
- Hung like a second grader.
- Powder THIS!
- Anheuser Busch baby. Born-on date: April 6, 2008.
- Nursing is NOT a tag team sport. Back off.
- My other stroller has a Hemi.
- Dang I love me some booby.
- Come back to my crib. I have a great mobile.
- Down to two naps a day.
- Total Diaper Filler.
- Piss me off and I will kick your ass.
- You can't change me. (On second thought, you probably can)
- In touch with my toddler side.
- Dad's my wing-man.
- That totally chaps my ass.
- This is your brain on Enfamil. Any questions?
- Your buggy has a bitchin' paint job.
- Wanna peek under my quilt?
- Swaddle THIS!
- Nipple chapper.
- Beets are evil.
- Social instability, from the inner cities of the US to Sub-Saharan Africa is both a cause of, and a result of, the proliferation of small arms. And speaking of small arms, have you seen THESE???
*Actually it was one of the better showers because there were no games like "name the candy bar," or "taste the baby food." We opened gifts, ate some mini tacos and it was over.