Monday, March 07, 2005

I can't say too much yet, but...

I am excited for my friend.

We'll call him "Sam" because well, you know... it's his name - and "Sam" is partners with a guy who has invented something huge. Quick history:

"Sam" was a paper-man. Not the kind that weighs 350, drives the white van past your house at 3:30 am and litters your yard with plastic-wrapped garbage. He worked for a major paper company and, long story short, "Sam" was the developer of towels-in-a-box. He retired with his fortune, but was lured out of his life of leisure recently by an excited phone call. His buddy, a chemist, developed a formula that might completely revolutionize...

... the car wax industry.

Oh stop with the heavy sighs, I never promised a cure for cancer.

A few weeks ago I stopped to visit "Sam." When I pulled up, he came out of his garage with an Evian bottle which contained about one inch of yellow liquid. (I told him he needed to take that to his doctor) He said that was enough to do my car and truck. Put it on a cloth, wipe it across the finish... and that's it. No buffing, no wiping off. For lazy bastards like me, this is pure gold.

So I applied it to both my vehicles. It was easy to do and I've never seen a wax job so incredible. Both vehicles shine like a mirror. (or if you're an old timer, like a diamond in a goat's ass) One application lasts 6 months. The product will show up soon on QVC and in major stores.

And I will have a billionaire friend.


Dave Steele said...

Perhaps you can con him out of 10 or 20 ounces... you Grand Marnier 150 thief.

Dr. Mike said...

Yo, Davidstein... Do you think maybe I can con your friend Sam into letting you rub that stuff on my car?

I've invented something that cleans your car and makes it shine like it's wet, also... and it, too, comes in a bottle. We'll be selling from my garage. It's called Atche-Too-Owe.