Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Things I've Learned

My day is heavily scheduled, so I'm using the good old standby list of "Things I've Learned." Some of these lessons have come at great personal expense, so I hope you appreciate their wisdom.

I've learned...

After spending 30 minutes in vain searching for funnel cakes and the “guess my weight” guy, it appears Shoe Carnival is a goddamn hoax.

If dogs are as smart as the experts claim, why can’t they tell the difference between a Harley and a thunderstorm?

If you’re scoping women in a gym, it’s okay to consider what they WILL look like, instead of what they CURRENTLY look like.

If you’re running late and have no time to do laundry, you can improvise by wearing old underwear inside out.

If you’re going to San Francisco, be sure to wear some flowers in your hair.


Lee Ann said...

So that is what you have been doing at the gym!!!!
I do like your list of things you have learned. I think a lot of those do apply in life!

Mishka said...

I am thinking the only time it is really okay to wear your underwear again but inside out, is if you forgot to put some in your carry one and you miss a connecting flight and have to stay the night in an airport hotel.

Although I would say you are better off probably just not wearing any the next day if you can get away with it.

Next day undies are never approved in any other circumstances... especially if lack of laundy time is the only excuse....haha.

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

I'd never go to SF. Too cold, too expensive.

Weary Hag said...

Hm. You've just made me realize that Harley's ARE actually different from thunderstorms. And here I thought because the sound of both turns me on and makes me a bit wet, they were in fact, one in the same.

[Hey, who said that?]

Ari said...

Now every time I hear your voice I'm going to be thinking, "Did he have time for laundry today?"