Monday, October 17, 2005

Chad is kicking my ass

I hate Chad. He is my personal trainer. We began a vigorous workout schedule last week and I've just returned from 75 minutes of pure, unfiltered, plenary hell.

They say you'll get addicted to working out after a few times. You'll love that adrenaline rush and after a week or two, you'll crave it.

I don't f#$%-ing think so.

I don't have an addictive tendency. At times in my life I've done my level best to become an alcoholic. No deal. I smoke cigars and love how they make me feel, but do I need them? No, I only smoke them now and then. Has there ever been a sleep aid, mood management or pain relief perscription that I've ever wanted to continue taking even one day longer than prescribed? Huh-uh.

So the chances of me getting addicted to adrenaline, Chad or those goddamn weight machines is next to nil. That is why I chose to do this with my friend, Dr. Mike. We are tough on each other and if either weakens or wants to give up, the other will relentlessly harrass the quitter until they are a quivering, guilt-ridden pool of organic goo.

Plus the trainer is pre-paid and I hate wasting money.

14 comments:

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

I'm addicted to my elliptical trainer.

But it has nothing to do with the adreniline. I'm addicted to eating. And the elliptical lets me eat just about whatever I want!

Having a personal trainer is a sign of success -- like a cool cell phone, a nice, new truck or a white woman.

Lee Ann said...

It will get better, good luck! I wish I had a trainer, that would be awesome.

awaterpixie said...

LOL... I tried having a personal trainer.. couldn't do it.

I ended up joining karate.. somehow when you add the (I'm going to work out and kick someone's ass tonight) you feel much much more jazzed.

::smooches::
Mara

Spinning Girl said...

Plus, look how buff you are.

Used Hack said...

I did a lot better when I had a friend who acted as my personal trainer. I lost a lot of weight.

However, after accomplishing my goal, then injuring myself, it was difficult to get back into a groove without my friend to guilt me into working hard.

I gained all of the weight back, and have since lost most of it again.

Of course, not all of it, so that sucks. :)

Amandarama said...

"At times in my life I've done my level best to become an alcoholic. "

Oh, Dave.

You have to really want it.

Do. Or do not. There is no try.

Justice said...

I would love to work out with a trainer some day. Hang in there with him Dave.

smays said...

Personal Trainer named "Ernie"...okay.

Personal Trainer named "Chad"...oooh, maybe.

Personal Trainer named: "Lance"...Bad idea.

Kimmy said...

No, I totally get it. I have a similiar problem. I am totally addicted myself. But my trainer's name is "Breyers."

Mishka said...

I don't have an addictive personality either but I think I could be addicted to my hot tub if given the chance...

Dr. Mike said...

Dave, you said it man, "I hate Chad." I think it's actually Colonel Chad to us though. I just hope I'm not the only one gimping around today because he burned my legs off.

My freaking calves hurt so bad I've got boils and I can't sit because my gluts are charlie-horsed.

I do, however, think we are wearing Chad down by calling him a pansy-assed 26-year old GQ puny-guy. Our strategy is working. We just need to hang in there and conquer the bastard...

paula said...

Dave, I'm with Mike this morning. My body is so sore. Killer Keith tells me yesterday, "Make sure you do at least 30-40 minutes of Cardio tommorow." I wanted to slap him!!!

OldHorsetailSnake said...

Exercise is easy. Easy to lose your motivation to.

Weary Hag said...

I got up off the couch to get a handful of candy corn yesterday. That has to count as a workout. PLUS, I didn't even have to pay anyone to tell me how. Mama didn't raise no foo.