Saturday, October 01, 2005


Because I am not afraid to appear immature, crude and infantile, I will point out that Typhoon Longwang is currently storming toward Taiwan.

Now that's a bitchin' name! Longwang.

Meanwhile, we're over here stuck with something named Hurricane Otis. Do I need to point out that Otis is a guy from Mayberry... not a raging tempest of death? Christ, what's next, Hurricane Aunt Bea? I want menacing... or at least sexual names that puerile people like me can have fun with... like Longwang.

Ophelia? Who the hell is Ophelia?? Why couldn't it have been Hurricane Orgasm?

Why couldn't Rita have been Hurricane Raging-Wood, and Katrina, Hurricane Kegel?

If you have more ideas, please... do tell. Surely we can do better than the NOAA. I am convinced the person in charge of naming hurricanes looks something like this:


lilly05 said...

Sweet, I'm first!! Naw Dave the next one's gonna be Hurricane Opie! What ya gotta say 'bout that? I think someone needs to slip Ernie here a micky and submit a better name before it's too late. Don't want to get stuck with another cute and cuddly name straight off the yuppie baby name web site!

The B&G said...

Maybe hurricanes should come with there own theme music--rock you like a hurricane?

OldHorsetailSnake said...

Hurricane Clean Sweep?
Hurricane Tidy Bowl?
Tropical Depression Carrie?

The Everglades said...

Yeah, the names are super pussy. We need to sack up like our Asian counterparts and, get a little moxy, and go for it. The only intimidating things about Katrina and Rita is they both sound like raging bitches, one from the hood and one from a trailor park in Texas.

karla said...

Hurricane Longwang! That's hilarious. Shouldn't these things be run past a panel of people who could veto them if they're too ridicule-prone?

Lee Ann said...

Longwang, dang! It may be hard to beat that one! ;)

Spinning Girl said...

The last big hurricane here showed up in coveralls to fix my refrigerator, as I answered the door in my pignoir & pigtails, licking a huge lollipop. I love weather of all kinds!

We couldn't have had Hurricane Kegel because you need at least 10 for it to matter, and Katrina was just a category 5.

We have a town named Otis here, with a huge sign that says "You are Now Entering Otis". I giggle, as I wonder whether Otis knows about this. I'll take a picture next time I am there.

Puerile ... great word. You have one of those page-a-day calendars, huh.

Weary Hag said...

Actually, when I heard about Longwang, all I could think of was Larry King. He has been known to refer to himself as Larry "Longsack" King.

I can't come up with any clever hurricane names because I'm finding myself quite smitten with Ernie here. Thanks for the picture. I may stay here awhile today.