THINGS DAVE HAS NEVER DONE!!!
54 – Shared my popsicle with a squirrel while “breakin’ it down” in a trendy night club.
55 – Leveraged someone’s naivety about genetic engineering by convincing them I am a cross between Ernest Borgnine and a melon.
56 – Shamed a gargoyle into leaving its post atop a building to fetch me sum White Castle.
57 – Sled dogging with Gene Rayburn.
58 – Fetched White Castle for a gargoyle.
59 – Changed my priorities by attending a gathering of heavy-hearted monks suffering capricious attacks by Arabian sheiks dressed in Old Navy garb, instead of honoring my commitment to clear a camping spot for psoriasis-stricken Chilean trappers.
60 – Had more than 20 comments on any piece I’ve ever written.*
61 – Had to wonder WHY I haven’t had more than 20 comments on any piece I’ve ever written.
*could this possibly be a blatant attempt to get my ego stroked by accumulating more than 20 comments on this post? Nah. Course not.