For your information, I've never:
1- lowered myself via a rope around my ankles through a manhole to recover a green jade bracelet.
2- Touched the body of an elusive and deadly hammer-head shark with a real hammer-head while whistling the theme to “A Midsummer Night’s Dream.”
3- Had the urge to clean the navel of a big sweaty Mexican guy named Sidney during the months of July, August or October.
4- Drank tea while on a flight to Amsterdam.
5- Heaved a large stone into the Grand Canyon while wearing a purple flannel jumpsuit.
6- Shared photos of a friend’s pet hamster with an Irish guy by the name of Shelby.
7- Deviated from a plan to build the world’s first shopping mall made out of green soda bottles by substituting amber ones.
8- Examined the skeletal remains of an antelope while water skiing.
9- Cleaned the pool of any former president of the US when I should have been making deer jerky for a Canadian law student.
10- Held more than a dozen safety pins in one hand while farting to the tune of “My Sharona.”
11- Venetian baby shaking.
To be continued...
Happy Friday!
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9 comments:
I'm calling you out on the item about the hamster photos. I know for a fact...wait a minute, maybe the guy's name WAS Shelby...
That green jade bracelet was mine. You didn't happen to see a a body down there did you? Not that I would know anything about that. I really liked those. Kee them coming...
I have never tap danced at a nudist colony (more's the pity, too)
I must say, I'm very impressed.
It's good to have goals :)
Dream big.
One question: Does this mean you cleaned Sidney's navel during May? Cuz I thought that was MY job that month.
(keep these lists comin)
I've never taken done any of that stuff! Put I've petted a Swiss Cow in the Swiss Alps.
Blake
You have plenty of time to work on getting those things accomplished. :)
THIS made me snort, which is a mighty compliment.
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