Tuesday, May 10, 2005

The vegetable medley

How freaking tough can it be for a restaurant to offer corn, green beans, peas or other standard vegetables? Why does it always have to be the cauliflower/squash/carrot "medley?" And why use a musical term to describe food? I'm sick of the mixed veggie cop-out. Sick of it!

And just because you cut fruit cocktail up into smaller pieces doesn't mean you can call it a "salsa." Salsa is for tortilla chips and huevos rancheros. Fruit cocktail is for sissies. There is a difference.

And what's with all the sweet and meat combos these days? Does a ribeye really need a raspberry reduction sauce? Are ribs really the place for apricot chutney? What happened to A-1?

Someday I will open Dave's Restaurant. Your favorite foods will be served, leave a comment so I know what they are.

And don't use the words "medley" or "salsa" unless you want a knot on your head in the shape of Chef Dave's frying pan.

7 comments:

Weary Hag said...

You nailed it Dave. How about creating a menu that reads as follows: Steak or fish. Mashed or fries. One of the following ~ corn, peas, green beans or spinach. Side salad consisting of good old fashioned lettuce, tomatoes, cukes and onion (sans the dicey crap you won't be able to identify).
Beverages: Coke/Pepsi or 7-Up. Tea, Coffee, or a brewski if you prefer.
Dessert: Chocolate layer cake, pudding or Jello.
But please Dave, when you open this joint, could you put up a big sign outside that says "NO PERFUME ALLOWED." Let me know when you open.

gary said...

WILL THERE BE BEER???

OldHorsetailSnake said...

Baby back ribs

Abalone

Razor clams

Strawberry reduction sauce

Chris Johnson said...

MMMM, Gooey butter cake!! Dr. Pepper, Missouri made Raspberry Wine. YUMMY!! Also how about some Rotel Nachos!!Southern Comfort Hurricanes.

Can't forget the kids: Fish sticks with macaroni & cheese

Chris Cope said...

Guinness.

And for desert, I'll have a Guinness.

kdillon said...

How strange...to make a VERY long story short, I'm a diabetic, and thought I was able to just let it go, avoid it, and I'd be okay...until last week when I was about 15 minutes from a diabetic coma from something called ketoacidosis, and, according to the Doctors, VERY close to death! After 4 days in ICU, I'm now taking 4 shots of insulin per day, on a VERY strict diet, for now, having to partake in many of the things that are listed here, with the exception of the good ones!
I came here, looking for a little solace from the reality of it all, and read about all these great foods that I now cannot eat!! Now THAT sucks! My list could go on and on, but it would mainly be things that I took for granted before I was told, in no uncertain terms, that I can't have them anymore.

Let's start, Dave, with Willie's Pizza....

The Cuke said...

anything that doesn't fit on any f***ing atkin's menu. And can we smoke in this resaurant?