What IS it about gravy? *
If you'll indulge me, I'll speak to a subject I'm fairly sure you hadn't considered... that of gravy. Everything these days must have gravy and I want to know why.
Literal or figurative, gravy has become a staple of society. This creamy substance, in it's many forms, is strangely beguiling. For instance, www.gravy.com touts a one-sauce-fits-all mixture. And what IS asparagus without hollandaise sauce - a form of gravy?
Biscuits 'n gravy would be a shell of it's former self without the gruel, and the popularity of mashed potatoes would go the way of congressional approval ratings. The symbiotic dependency is undeniable.
And I just used TWO 4-syllable words.
Gravy boats, gravy trains... it even seems to be an integral part of the transportation system. What's next, "gravy traffic on the 8's?"
Salespeople call their bonus money "gravy." Politicians most certainly receive it from special interests and lobbyists... it's no wonder they're often called "gravy sucking pigs." My grandfather used to say "good gravy" as a proxy for cursing.
Even pet food boasts "in meaty gravy" on the label. Now I happen to know my dog doesn't care if his food includes gravy... yet it apparently helps pet owners to think they're feeding their beloved comfort food. In reality, it just dirties the floor around his dish.
Gravy, gravy, gravy. It's even sounds funny if you repeat it over and over.
Admittedly, without it, chicken fried steak would be characterless. Eating meat loaf without the red gravy (you DO prefer the red gravy, right??) would be a perfunctory process. And Frank Zappa's "Lumpy Gravy" album would need to be renamed.
So I give up. We're stuck. Apparently humans and gravy are inextricably, cosmically connected.
And that's good news if you own stock in Cracker Barrel.
* I am plagued with these kinds of absurd thoughts frequently - and unfortunately I feel the need to write about them. I'm very sorry for this.