Thursday, May 19, 2005

Gravy, gravy everywhere - and not a piece of toast

What IS it about gravy? *

If you'll indulge me, I'll speak to a subject I'm fairly sure you hadn't considered... that of gravy. Everything these days must have gravy and I want to know why.

Literal or figurative, gravy has become a staple of society. This creamy substance, in it's many forms, is strangely beguiling. For instance, touts a one-sauce-fits-all mixture. And what IS asparagus without hollandaise sauce - a form of gravy?

Biscuits 'n gravy would be a shell of it's former self without the gruel, and the popularity of mashed potatoes would go the way of congressional approval ratings. The symbiotic dependency is undeniable.

And I just used TWO 4-syllable words.

Gravy boats, gravy trains... it even seems to be an integral part of the transportation system. What's next, "gravy traffic on the 8's?"

Salespeople call their bonus money "gravy." Politicians most certainly receive it from special interests and lobbyists... it's no wonder they're often called "gravy sucking pigs." My grandfather used to say "good gravy" as a proxy for cursing.

Even pet food boasts "in meaty gravy" on the label. Now I happen to know my dog doesn't care if his food includes gravy... yet it apparently helps pet owners to think they're feeding their beloved comfort food. In reality, it just dirties the floor around his dish.

Gravy, gravy, gravy. It's even sounds funny if you repeat it over and over.

Admittedly, without it, chicken fried steak would be characterless. Eating meat loaf without the red gravy (you DO prefer the red gravy, right??) would be a perfunctory process. And Frank Zappa's "Lumpy Gravy" album would need to be renamed.

So I give up. We're stuck. Apparently humans and gravy are inextricably, cosmically connected.

And that's good news if you own stock in Cracker Barrel.

* I am plagued with these kinds of absurd thoughts frequently - and unfortunately I feel the need to write about them. I'm very sorry for this.


phoenix said...

You are the morning gravy on my bisquit hehehe

OldHorsetailSnake said...

And 5-syllable words too. You getting as brainy as Chris Cope's wife.

Angie said...

I make excellent gravy. Do you ever answer the questions in your comments?

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

Enjoy it. If we don't get ahold of illegal immigration, the word might one day be "salsa."

I love'em both, though. So the hell with it.

Good post.

Weary Hag said...

Love it. Gravy is already a multi-lingual word. Gravy - to the old Italians - is what they put on their pasta, the red, tomato based stuff. Gravy to my Irish grandparents was made from the drippings of meat and as you've indicated, was a meal-time staple.
I'll never forget when I was a young girl, my best friend's mom invited me to have some bread and gravy as a snack. I said "sure!" fully expecting the thick brown stuff. Instead, she put before me a slice of Italian bread and a little dipping bowl of freshly brewed tomato sauce. Cracked me up!

BarbaraFromCalifornia said...

Fantastic imagery. And you are absolutely right.

In one of my blog posts, I asked a smiliar question regarding the use and meaning of gloves. We see them everywhere these days, on the hands of postal workers, food servers and doctors.

Gravy is even more provocative a topic!

Dave Morris said...

Phoenix, why thanks. You're the sugar in my java.

Hoss, I promise I will never come close to being as smart as Chris' wife. Ever. I'm certain of it.

Angie, never. hehe!

LBB, as long as they make it good and spicy.

Carol, you've made me want to go swill a jar of Ragu.

Barbara, I think we should collaborate and do a piece on wearing gloves to keep from getting gravy on your hands.