Monday, April 11, 2005

Weekend Recap

Tiger won the Masters, the Cardinals lost two out of three to Philly, and I lost a monumental amount of cash. And lost my dinner Saturday night at the hands of that vicious yet bewitching nectar that is tequila. Damn you Masters tournament. DAMN YOU!

I learned that a hangover can be conquered with the following (in order):

  1. 1 half bottle Pepto Bismol
  2. 5 advil
  3. 1 half gallon coffee
  4. 1 bloody mary, extra spicy
  5. 2 dozen fried mushrooms with plenty of horseradish
  6. 2/3 pound bison burger with bleu cheese 'n' bacon & greasy onion straws
  7. 2 gallons water
  8. 1 warmed over ham & egg "Breakfast Jack" sandwich
  9. 2 more gallons water

By 5 pm Sunday, I was again functioning at a full 65 percent. This morning I feel great, except for having to sell my watch collection and big screen.

Note to self: arrange untimely death of "Sam the bookie."

3 comments:

gary said...

Lines I had to use this weekend that stick in my mind:

"What button do I have to push to make this thing go FORWARD"???

"You want me to pull over WHERE"???

Bottle Rocket Fire Alarm said...

Never bet on baseball.

Pujols only has one HR. SLUMP!

Dave Morris said...

Gary, my request for a pull-over was a fairly urgent one. Your timing was impeccable. One second more, and... well.

BRFA, you only say "never bet on baseball" because you are a Cubs fan. My God, I'd be completely broke! Hey, just goading you a little, the rivalry is fun. But I would like to see Poo-holes hit his stride, he's a fun one to watch. Go Cubs! I mean, you know, if they must.