Thursday, April 21, 2005

A delightful amalgamation of cerebral debris

The GOP has taken every opportunity possible this year to make itself look bad. Most of it centers around Tom DeLay, who has allegedly violated several ethics rules regarding campaign fundraising and usage, and clearly tried to refocus public opinion and muddy the water with the Terri Schiavo case.

GOP protectors/friends earlier this year changed some rules so that, amidst his troubles, Tom DeLay could remain majority leader. So a rule gets violated, so you just... change it???

Bye, Tom. Good riddance. I'm pretty conservative, but in the court of public opinion, I'm afraid you're through.


Communiques to the Netherworld: began taking orders in March, recording the voices of customers at a rate of $3.99 per minute and beaming them into space, aimed toward the center of the Milky Way by a parabolic dish antenna on an FM frequency. If you'd rather, you can send an email, and get a print-out of the text on a fancy certificate for under 20 bucks.

Come on, if aliens are listening to FM, I just KNOW they are cranking up a good classic-country station out of Dubuque. And, if they know ANYTHING about email, they probably have the galaxy's tightest spam filter in place.

And a German guy introduced his "telephonic angel" system, at a cost of about US$2,000, which is a battery operated speaker placed underground at a gravesite, and includes a microphone so you can talk to the corpse of your dearly departed (for up to a year on a single battery charge!)

I've completely missed the boat on making my fortune, 'cause you KNOW there are hordes of people who just can't wait to give these people their money. Damn!


I mentioned my opinion about the new Pope in a comment yesterday on Hoss' blo... er, I mean 'piece," and perhaps I've offended a few. I mentioned Benedict XVI has the "evil" look to him, and that he has been known to be ultra-conservative, therefore, probably will not be making any sweeping changes the church sorely needs... such as allowing priests to marry, allowing condoms and other forms of birth control, etc.

To clarify and set the record straight for all those who were offended, I have nothing against the Catholic church, I have a bazillion friends who are Catholic.

I also have many friends who WERE Catholic until recently. And, I meant every word I said.


Well, I gotta go. This coffee/Kahlua ain't gonna drink itself. See ya tomorrow...



Bottle Rocket Fire Alarm said...

I wasn't offended. I like measured criticism and full fledged bashfests alike.

OldHorsetailSnake said...

You can stick it to Pope Benecromagnon all you want. Some of my best friends aren't Catholic.

Sure wish I'd thought of those money-making schemes. I need to Make My Pile.

Raehan said...

You don't sound that conservative to me. You sound reaasonable. And that's a good thing, in my opinion. I agree with you about the Pope and about DeLay. I WAS a Catholic. I was never a member of the GOP.

Thank you for coming by the other day!

Kristy said...

Your mention of the phone to the newly dead reminded me of the day we met with the mortician about my father's funeral. He was keen to sell us a casket with a 20 year warrenty. "Warrenty against what?" I wondered, but didn't ask. That's information I'm not sure I really want to know...

Kerouaced said...

No offense to the Catholics out there but Benedict XVI looks more dead than John Paul. That guy needs a tan in the worst way...

Bernadette said...

I was only joking, good sir. And, although I have eleven children, I'm not Catholic. Not Mormon either, but you were too polite to ask.