Sunday, April 03, 2005

No time like the present

It's not bad enough that we still have blood lettings, peasant revolts, and oxen for transportation, (at least in my world) do we really STILL need to be changing the clocks twice a year?

First, let me clarify the term. It's "daylight saving time" - not savings, saving. The word "saving" is a verbal adjective that modifies time. Although it's been pointed out that it flows more mellifluously off the tongue when inserting the extra S, it just ain't right. (and doesn't the word "ain't" flow mellifluously too?)

It's an idea that was originally hatched by an otherwise brilliant man, Benjamin Franklin, who was CLEARLY hopped up on the goofball when this one hit him.

Contrary to popular belief, the reasons for the time shift are NOT farmers needing more time in the field, nor to please aliens from the planet Xrieke, both of which are myths. The real reasons are to have more swim, cookout and girl-down-the-street-stalking time in the evening, and to save a little energy. Was that my outside voice?

That's it. THOSE are the only justifications for this utter nonsense. And to complicate issues (he draws a deep breath):

77 counties (including Indianapolis) are in the Eastern Time Zone but do not change to Daylight time in April. Instead they remain on Standard Time all year long. 10 counties - five near Chicago and five near Evansville - are in the Central Time Zone and use both Central Standard and Central Daylight. Five other counties - two near Cincinnati, OH, and three near Louisville, KY - are in the Eastern Time Zone but use both Eastern Standard and Eastern Daylight. Not to mention Hawaii and Arizona, who are also exempt.

ZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

To put a fine point on it... of all major industrialized countries in the world, the one holdout - the people who have the balls not to conform to this goofy premise - is Japan. Coincidentally, WHO leads the world in productivity? Technical/electronic innovation? Percentage of people with straight black hair?

I can give you 50 great reasons we should STOP the insanity of changing the time twice a year:

* the clock in the kitchen
* the clock in the car that nobody knows how to set
* the 48 watches I own




The prosecution rests.



***

3 comments:

OldHorsetailSnake said...

When daylight time acceptance was being debated in Oregon, dairy farmers were livid:

"Cows can't tell time. You mean to tell me they gotta give milk an hour later? (Or is it an hour earlier? You see, even farmers get confused.)"

I got a clock that changes itself automatically with each shift to daylight/regular time. Made in Japan, of course.

gary said...

Not being the techno-wonder that Dave certainly is, I'm just wondering...If i were in Indianapolis at 2:00am this morning...would my laptop computer have known where I was and NOT automatically made the adjustment??? Kinda makes ya say Hmmmm!!!
By the way, I ust got back from a long Harley ride and went over to the neighbors cause..."They had BEER"!!!

Dr. Mike said...

WHAT?! Oh shit, I'm late...