Sunday, April 24, 2005

Sam's Wholesale Club

I have never gone to Sam's and come away completely satisfied. Much like a Chinese restaurant.

It's hard to ever be sure if Sam's will have what you're looking for. If your favorite 65-gallon jar of pickles happens to be bread 'n butter, they'll only have the 65-gallon jar of dill. Never the right pickle. Ever.

Today was a great example. I went there for a tall office chair and a small flat-screen television for my office. What I found was a 25-pound drum of chicken cacciatore. Can't watch it, can't really sit on it.

Sam's never stocks the same products two visits in a row. They USED to have tall office chairs. Not anymore. As for the television, of course they're out of the model I wanted. But oooh... that cacciatore.

From now on, when I feel I need a particularly unsatisfying evening, I'll go to Sam's. Then on to Wang's House of Chow.


________

UPDATE: I received a really nice Samsung 22" flat screen HDTV monitor for my birthday, goes great in my recording studio. Thanks T and kids...

6 comments:

Kerouaced said...

Funny and true. I can't go to Sam's Club or Costco. They package everything for families of six. For God's sake what am I going to do with that 65 gallon jar of pickles? Feed them to my dogs?

Weary Hag said...

This post cracked me up! You're right. New England's equivalent to Sam's is BJ's Wholesale. It sucks in exactly the same way Sam's does. I often wonder if half the crap they're selling isn't just rejects from other stores that couldn't sell them either - like a 10 pound tub of no-name brand fat-free mayonnaise. The ONE time I went there with a bit of happy anticipation, I had finally decided to get a huge crate of cat litter (some for the cats and some for my car incase I got stuck in snow - it works) ... they not only didn't have it anymore but the entire display case was missing. I felt like I was in Twilight Zone because I had only been there three days earlier and they had tons of the things!

Kristy said...

Eat all 25 lbs of the stuff and you'll be sitting on it one way or another...

The Cuke said...

This is what I'm thinking: So you didn't get the office chair (tall, tall..) or the tv (small and flat-screen, definitely) but you could still use this chicken cacciatore in quite a versatile manner. Watch: Set it out for a week under the sun but contained in some penetrable ... "thing". That way, the fruit flies are sure to get at it while the larger animals cannot. In no time, that thing will be moving with maggots. You may, though, prefer to do this next bit before the maggot fest begins. Wrap it in plastic wrap and freeze it. You'll have a makeshift office chair in no time. Just make sure you wrap it tightly enough to manage shape. And, if you really want.. after all is said and done, eat it. You might even get to watch it all over again.

Dave Morris said...

Oooh, wow. You're a creative girl, Lori. But I've decided I'm not going to follow your advice, I'm fearful of maggots. I don't know why.

Mishka said...

This post reminded me of the Seinfeld when Cosmo discovers bulk membership stores and buys the huge cans of pork and beans. He doesn't understand when the rest of the cast gives him crap. It makes perfect sense to him to buy them because they were cheap, not because he really needed them.

Ultimately, he gets sick of them and feeds them to the horse he is horse-sitting and it gets really bad gas....