Occasionally you have a weekend that, without planning or big spending, turns out to be a gem. Sometimes it doesn't involve hallucinogens, either.
I had lunch with my buddy Tim on Friday. During the conversation we began talking about the Lake of the Ozarks, which is a resort/vacation lake in Central Missouri. It's a great place... both Tim and I lived and worked there in the late 1980's/early 90's.
We decided we needed to pack a cooler and bags and get there. It's about 2.5 hours from St. Louis so by 9 pm we were checked into the a swank hotel and eating a steak. Later we closed a couple of bars, and by 2 am I had removed my liver, wringed it out and replaced it. I pretty much crashed.
Thanks to the sonofabitch who kept slamming the door in the next room, we got up at 7-ish and grabbed breakfast, then filled the cooler and headed out on Tim's brother's boat, a sweet 32 foot Sea Ray. It was fairly quiet on the water since it's the off season, (see pic of view over the bow) so it was an easy ride around the main part of the lake. We hit party cove, which was only moderately full compared to normal. We took a swim and I had approximately one shitload of gin & tonics (I wasn't driving the boat) then we headed back to shore to figure out what was for dinner. I ended up having surf & turf at a place called Horny Toad's, then watching a jazz band in the hotel bar until about 1 in the morning.
Major highlights of the weekend:
- Denny's waitress with hair on fire. (not really, but liquor made it appear that way)
- Near constant references to beastiality with sheep.
- A dialogue about what will happen when Bagnell dam breaks. (and I'm fairly certain it will)
- The 60 year old woman at Party Cove who insisting on showing us her "rock-in-a-sock" breasts.
- Ensuing conversation/debate about which of us would do her first if we were 20 years older.
- Fist fight with locals about who has more back hair.
- Settling the argument by having a group "back shave."
- Paying 65 dollars for a goddamn steak and lobster because I failed to ask (and the waiter failed to say) what the "market price" was for today.
- Using that excuse to activate the "low tip" rule.
- Setting a new record for ounces of Tanqueray consumed in a 48 hour period.
- Setting a new record for number of Advil consumed in a 48 hour period.
Ah, it's those "by surprise" weekends that make it all worth while. I am already planning the next trip.