As I am watching the Giants/Saints game, I caught myself welling up. A Reebok commercial came on featuring Giants players introducing themselves. Thing is, they were all wearing Saints jerseys. At the end, Eli Manning is wearing a shirt that says "Be a Saint." It's a great commercial.
Reebok is donating 100 percent of the profits of Saints memorabilia sales to the Katrina relief fund.
See, that is the kind of shit that makes a guy cry.
My fortune cookie tonight: "You have the ability to analyze and solve any problem."
Well duh, Confucius.
I love Chinese food, but these fortunes are bogus. Look, when I open that cookie I want insight into the future. I expect to know which stocks to purchase, which route to drive to work, or whether or not I will EVER have sex again.
Instead, I get shit I already know.
I know you're wondering... I had the shrimp lo mein.
A conversation in my living room just now:
Kramer & Regis
Regis - "Jesus, Kramer, when will you learn that Dad doesn't feed us human food. Idiot."
Kramer - "Screw you, you arrogant prick. I'm waiting for droppings. Mind your own Sheltie-assed business."
Regis - "I get to go outside anytime I want." (licks himself)
Dave - "Boys, come on. What do you think you are, females?"
Kramer - "Well, neither of us have balls."
Regis - "I have figurative balls, I'm a canis lupus familiaris."
Kramer - "Those fancy words mean nothing when you're afraid of a little thunder. I fear nothing." (licks himself)
Regis - "If felines are so brave, then why do humans refer to fearful people as fraidy-cats and pus..."
Dave - (interrupting) "That's enough guys." (licks himself)
Thunder rolls outside, Regis runs to the basement. Curtain falls.
Now singing at halftime of the Saints/Giants game: Three Doors Down. Wow, dude cannot sing.
Isn't it ironic that those who refuse to believe scientific evidence that burning fossil fuels causes global warming are some of the most staunch believers in God and afterlife?
That's all I got.