Friday, June 17, 2005

Tivo, Sinking Sand, Splitting States, Idiots, iPods and A New Tax

When you pay 8 bucks a month for a warranty... and something goes out... you expect to get a new one.

About 10 months ago I bought one of these High Def Tivos from DirecTV. Great picture, worked well, no troubles. Until a month ago, when it started pixelating and freezing up. So I requested a service guy, and it took them three visits to finally say "we'll send you a new one."

I got the new one, unwired the old, installed, ran through the long setup procedure, had it activated... and it's not working. Upon closer inspection, it appears to be a refurbished unit, a return or something.

Meantime, the old unit hasn't malfunctioned for a while, so I'm reinstalling it and sending a nasty letter to DirecTV. And I think I might write a negative blog about them too!

Random Thought: Why isn't Saudi Arabia sinking? Don't they take like 55 million barrels of oil out of the Earth every single day? What gives? (apparently nothing... yet)

California has had four moderate earthquakes in the past week. I wonder if they are finally splitting off into the ocean, as has been predicted for decades?

I remember as a kid living in California, hearing the news that it would eventually become an island. It was scary as hell, even though they said it wouldn't happen for millions of years. When you're a kid, millions of anything doesn't mean much.

Random Thought: Hey company! When I call your automated-assed customer service line and your computer voice asks me to enter my 24 digit account number, 10 digit phone number, mother's birthdate and the last four digits of my social, please have the decency to hang onto that info until a live person finally gets on the line. Please, PLEASE don't ask me to push eight thousand goddamn buttons if you're going to need to ask me again later... I have things to do! Like writing cancellation letters to companies with stupid automated customer service lines.

I finally went to buy an iPod last night and all I could find in-stock was the U2 iPod, which sells for an extra 50 bucks. But you get 50 bucks off the purchase of the U2 Super-Ultra-Gigantic-Every-Song-They-Ever-Released box set. AND you get their autographs on the back of the unit.

No thanks. And today, the urge to purchase the iPod has passed. I guess Apple lost 300 bucks last night. Maybe I'll get the urge again soon.

Random Thought: A great way to pay off the federal deficit would be to develop a program in which, each time a woman cries they must send in a dollar. (TWO dollars for those "just because" cries) And each time a man feels frustrated by the crying, they must also send in a dollar. (TWO dollars when he tells her she has nothing to cry about) We'd achieve total budget balance status by the end of... oh, probably today.



Weary Hag said...

Dear dude of multi-talents,

So much to comment on, so little time.
I'm lovin the solution to the federal deficit. I'm totally in-sync with you on the automated baloney at the other end of customer service phone numbers. If I didn't think anyone would have to die in the process, I have no objection to California becoming an island. And I'd love to read your blog-blast at that DirecTV company.

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

This blog has a very high genius/sentence ratio.

Sorry to hear about the I-Pod. Screw U2.

I'm with you on the company phone thingy.

Chris Cope said...

I pray every day for California to become an island. Then I want them to become their own country. Then I want to declare war on them.

Bottle Rocket Fire Alarm said...

I'm glad they're still around, because I want a U2 iPod.

OldHorsetailSnake said...

Here's the skinny on why Saudi Arabia isn't sinking:

They take oil out, but water comes in to fill the holes. The water comes from melting glaciers, which are melting because everybody is burning so much oil. It's sort of like put-and-take fishing.

P.S. Sometimes men cry too. Or should.

Gwen said...

This made me start to cry and then I realized I didn't have any money set aside this week for the emotion tax.

Kerouaced said...

Sir, upon inspeciton I find your wit to be as sharp as ever. Carry on.

It might work better for guys to send in a dollar every time they get road rage. Think of all the bridges that money would build...