Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Freedom, free frijoles, french fries and a freakin' genius idea



I never thought I'd get tired of the word FREEDOM, but between "W" and congress, the term has been driven into the ground to the point that it has lost it's meaning. Sort of like saying "I love you" to someone 20 times a day... after awhile the person doesn't even hear it anymore...

So the name of the new building to be erected at ground zero, the FREEDOM TOWER, already sounds cheesy to me. The artist rendering looks spectacular, and the building will definitely make a statement to our citizens and our detractors/ enemies.

But that name...

The enemy doesn't hate us for our freedom, as George W. Bush is fond of saying. They hate us for our PRESENCE in other parts of the world where they feel we don't belong. They hate us for ISRAEL, and they hate us because they feel they are under seige from the modern world and the U.S. embodies and symbolizes that world.

So maybe it should be called the MODERN, ISRAEL-LOVING, WE'LL GO ANYWHERE WE BY-GOD WANT Tower. That'll show 'em.

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Tom Cruise went ape-shit on Matt Lauer recently and has been in all the headlines regarding his rant. You HAVE to believe Cruise knows he made a fool of himself.

Especially when even Rosie O'Donnell is shutting him down. Now THAT, my friends, says you've made a fool of yourself.

I'm actually excited about seeing "War of the Worlds" this weekend... I've heard good reviews. Obviously I'm a little cold on Cruise right now, and I have a friend who refuses to see the movie because she would be supporting his efforts, but I will still pay the price and see the flick. I'll let you know how it was.

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Random thought: There must be an unseen and not-yet-discovered force that pulls dropped french fries (or should I call them FREEDOM fries) into that crack between your car seat and the console, from which they are nearly impossible to retrieve.

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I can see clearly now...

Apparently Pfizer thinks Viagra does not contribute to blindness, although it will change the label to include a warning. I'm confused, why would they change the label then?

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Random thought: The energy required to argue about doing something is almost always greater than the energy it would require to just do it.

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Random picture, because I can. My dog Regis.

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Random Thought: Since we've already activated half of our military and we're spending money hand-over-fist, let's put the other half to work closer to home. I suggest we invade and conquer Mexico.

Think of it, illegal immigration would be a thing of the past... no more border problems. We would own Cabo, Cozumel, Puerto Vallarta, Tijuana. (well, maybe we'll leave Tijuana as it's own soveriegn nation) We'd have all the free tacos we wanted (mmm, tacos) and Vincente Fox could be my new pool boy. No more being frisked by customs agents after vacation, and we could do something about that water problem so I won't get explosive diarrhea every goddamn trip.



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8 comments:

Rob Seifert said...

I love the tower comments - isn't there something phalic and powerful about a tower? Chuckle... As far as Mexico goes, I have to take you to task.

Mexico is already a psuedo-state. We have a wink and a nod border system that's so pourous that W doesn't even want to talk about it - and this while me and the little old ladies are taking off their shoes and having their finger nail clippers confiscated in airports.

As far as I can tell, Mexico's statedom is only just a few strokes of the pen from a reality. No need to waste those troups and those bombs especially when there's another oil rich theocracy waiting to be liberated and introduced to "Freedom".

I would, however like to see Vincente Fox as a pool boy or maybe a fry cook...

RCS

Kerouaced said...

Great collection of thoughts. You had me laughing on these. Freedom Tower does sound awful. That word makes me wince now...Vincente Fox as your pool boy! Ha!

Chris Cope said...

If we invade Mexico, where would all our soldiers come from? I imagine an invasion of Mexico would be met with doubled-over laughter from most Mexicans, who know they will be running the United States soon enough, anyway. Freedom Tower in Spanish is: "Torre De la Libertad."

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

Several fine ideas, Dave. I've never thought of annexing Mexico.

And who would mind. They all want to be Americans, anyway. And we can never get enough of sandy beaches and Mexican food.

Hell, I don't think we'd even have to fight that hard!

And I know what you mean about the fries.

Bottle Rocket Fire Alarm said...

I think we should call it "America's Giant Symbolic Cock For Reaming Third World Pussies Tower." It would be vulgar but honest.

OldHorsetailSnake said...

This is the "Shoving It Up the People Who Died" Building. Otherwise known as "Let byegones be byegones."

But we MUST invade Canada first. And NOW. Didn't you see they are legalizing Gay Marriage? Us Baptists gotta put a stop to that. R'at now!

Weary Hag said...

I'm not sure my lifelong friend Annie Cramer who died on the burning 90th floor of Tower 2 while scrambling for an elevator would muchly appreciate the name "Freedom Tower" either... but her family somehow takes some solace in it, so who am I to really give a damn what they name the place.
On a brighter note, Regis is quite handsome, and the fries thing ... go figure.
Nice mix here, Dave.

Mishka said...

Freedom Tower does sound so cheesy...and I hope they are learning from their mistakes and not making another building with enough room for a small city but w/o the evacuation capabilities...that would suck.