By popular demand (yeah... right), more Things I've Never Done.
43 - Challenged a surly, buxom female Arizonan with dry flaky skin to a death match of Chutes and Ladders while hopped up on welsh ale.
44 - Ridden on a Greyhound bus to Thibodeau, Louisiana with Harold Ensley, the Sportsman's Friend.
45 - Shouted "I'm filling my pants with waste" to anyone who would listen, inside a Waffle House in a small, bible-belt town.
48 - Supported a movement to reduce the number of guys named Hector. Or Leon.
49 - Slipped noiselessly into a room containing boxes of valuable Russian trinkets stacked to the ceiling, and not considered the possibility of quiet, sexual self-satisfaction.
50 - Bocce with Elliot Gould.
51 - Lovingly stroked a mongoose in a busy airport during Hanukah.
52 - Performed a greek Saltatio dance with a parental rights demonstrator, while ignoring a previous commitment to prepare margaritas for a vacationing group of Belgian elk hunters.
53 - Milked a ridiculous schtick as a way of filling website space when I had writer's block or nothing really creative to say.*
* Okay, maybe I've done these things. Sue me.
More archived Things I've Never Done.