Here are ten more items in a continuing list of goals I have yet to accomplish. So refill your coffee cup and wallow with me in my regret.
32 – Looked to the sky on a cloudless night and confused the star Betelgeuse with a graphical interpretation of the mating habits of marsupials.
33 – Cracked corn and not cared.
34 – Birthed a fully grown dachshund and named him Jim.
35 – Passed gas as a direct result of a blow to the abdomen administered by a Jesuit fashion footwear designer in Swaziland. Or Laos.
36 – Shrilly crooned an Eagles song in a bathtub full of fudge.
37 – Pounded sand.
38 – Roller skated in a buffalo herd (but I’ve been happy when I had a mind to)
39 – Embellished a story about corrupt Guadeloupean customs agents to a large, sweating angina sufferer while stuffing sausage, and I don't mean metaphorically.
40 – Flirted with a world record for number of shellfish inserted rectally into a cheetah.
41 – Given or received an equine vaccination while humming Welsh folk music through a walkie talkie.
42 - (bonus item) Tripped the light fantastic with Sylvio, a rotund bedouin gunslinger with chronic ass chafing.