Tuesday, August 16, 2005

My dog's horoscope


It's a custom here in The Window to translate my horoscope from it's ambiguous message, into what it really means. But I found it profoundly more funny to read Regis' horoscope in the context of a dog's life and apply it to him. Here's his translation.

Regis' horoscope SAYS:

CANCER (June 21-July 22) Others look for you. If you are to get anything done, consider closing your door. Review what is being asked, and you'll know what to do. You are on top of a situation. Tonight: Let everything play out.


Regis' horoscope MEANS:

CANCER (June 21-July 22) Kramer the cat may seem independent, but he watches you for guidance regarding toy manipulation and destruction. You might want to do it in the bedroom closet to preserve your secrets, since he's scared of it in there. Review the rules about drool and potty, consider that it's a great opportunity to be outside several times a day, (also keeping in mind that THAT'S where the rabbits are) and remember that it's no fun to have your nose rubbed against carpet. Your "sad eye" look is a perfect approach to getting to lie on the couch occasionally, and rolling over on your back almost always gets a tummy rub... clearly you are in charge at your house. Tonight: Kramer the cat will again piss off Dad because of his constant meowing and distaste for peanut butter, it all works to your advantage because you'll likely get more Beggin' Strips and bad breath bones for being a "good boy."

6 comments:

Rob Seifert said...

These always make me smile Dave.

RCS

Lee Ann said...

They are so cute! It's great they get along enough to be in the same room:)

Kerouaced said...

Good stuff. My dogs run my house too but I had to draw the line when they ordered a side of beef and subscription to Dog Fancy...

OldHorsetailSnake said...

Peanut butter is for people and mice. Cats need tenderloin steak. Pay attention.

Weary Hag said...

You really need to consider creating a book of these gems. Have it printed on newspaper-quality material and your advertising campaign could read:
"If you don't like what you read, you can use it to line the litter box."

Ari said...

Love that! :)