Monday, July 07, 2008

"Cangies daddy?"

A famous Courtney quote. She couldn't say candy, she pronounced it "CAIN-gees." Anyway, as I perused the cangies aisle of Walgreens the other day, I started reminiscing about when I was a real afficionado. A list of my favorites and/or notables follows.

Wax lips:

We all did them as kids. They were great as a candy AND as a toy. We would nibble away at the edges until they became thin, sickly looking lips. Then we'd begin at the ends and make them thin, sickly and pursed lips. This candy put an end to the parental edict 'don't play with your food.'

Soda bottles:

Similar to wax lips, except with a special sweet center. I tired of the bland wax pretty quickly, but I'd make the liquid last. My approach - bite off the top, drink a little and bite the top closed again. Repeat until the good stuff was gone. Feed the remainder of the wax to the dog. Watch him for hours.

Circus peanuts:

I mention them not because I love them, but because I loathe them. Horrible texture experience and sickening flavor. Just nasty. 'Nuff said.


Reigning favorite candy bar. Salty on the outside, sweet on the inside, crunchy in between. It's a veritable cornucopia of flavors and textures. I justify consumption by telling myself peanuts are full of the good cholesterol.

Gummy Worms:

Guilty pleasure. I usually consume them on a long road trip when I'm alone. I look away as the clerk rings up my purchase, then I make believe I'm five years old and can already drive. I mean why would an adult eat worms, for chrissake?


Jaw-locking, diabetes-inducing slabs of sugary goodness. One candy bar lasts you most of a day and that's without an insulin injection. It battles Payday for my favorite candy bar, but its limited availability keeps it a close second. And also I have fillings I want to keep.

Hot Tamales:

What can I say? You can't see a movie without Hot Tamales, popcorn and lemonade. They are the perfect test for sweet-tooth. If you eat several at a time you can even develop these little cinammon blisters on the roof of your mouth. (Hey did anyone notice Lindsey Lohan is holding Hot Tamales?)

Marshmallow chicks:

Another one I included just to say "blech." I eat one every Easter, just to say I did. Kind of a rite of passage or something. They are too sweet and cause me to feel like I'm drowning. Another great sweet-tooth locator. Never a pleasant experience. And yet I persist...

Boston Beans:

Mmmmmm. Sort of a weird texture/flavor combo. I can eat three to five pounds before puking them back up. I never understood why Boston gets credit for the candy. The actual bean, I understand.

Any favorite cangies to share?


Violet said...

Peeps make me want to gag. And now, Peeps are no longer just for Easter. I've seen St. Patty's day shamrock Peeps and Christmas Peeps, too. Will somebody stop the insanity?

I love SweeTarts and Skittles. As a kid, I loved candy cigarettes... I guess because I felt like I was doing something I shouldn't be doing.

ajooja said...

Maple. Nut. Goodies.


Matt Gordon said...

Not a big chocolate guy, Dave, or does that go into its own category?

Blogarita said...

The only reason I ever got those wax pop bottles was so I could knead a piece of the wax until it was soft and put it over wherever my braces might be poking the inside of my cheek.

As for favorites, I've always liked the sour candy. Pixie stix, SweeTarts, Spree. Or salt water taffy.

C said...

hi dave.... as a kid, i LOVED bit o' honey, cinnamon jelly pennies, anise candy, jordan almonds, hershey kisses, circus peanuts, cotton candy, squirrels, necco wafers (i'd pick out all the black ones they were my faves), peanut butter logs with the toasted coconut, mounds, and licorice. back in my day you could get 2-3 pieces of candy for a penny...i am 52 so go figure. i also loved ketchup flavored potatoe chips and the salt n vinegar ones. peeps gag me. gummi candies make me grit my teeth. do you remember the good humor ice cream truck that came around? mmmmmmmnnn.

C said...

this is c again. i forgot to mention boston baked beans... i too can eat a pond or two of 'em. yummy... gives me the shits, though.

Clippy Mat said...

growing up in the north east of england we ate jelly babies, licorice allsorts, sports mixtures, and anniseed balls. washed down with iron brew or dandelion and burdock. (burp)
but the tastiest childhood treat was from the local 'fishy'. six pennorth o' chips with batter and lashings of salt and vinegar all wrapped up in the local newspaper. bleeding newsprint added to the flavour i'm sure. you americans eat weird stuff that's all i can say.

arthist99 said...

Baby Ruth is still my all time fave. I miss Mary Janes though.

C said...

MALLO CUPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
nuttin else matters.