Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Tuesday stream of unconsciousness


That quaker guy, much like the Burger King guy, kind of freaks me out. At least Burger King has changed their approach a little, with the king running it in for a touchdown. But that quaker guy, he just stares and stares.

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I noticed in my area there is a Walgreen's pharmacy every mile or two. At first I felt it was overkill, but then realized why. It's because there is also a McDonalds every mile or two. You can leave McDonalds and go directly to Walgreens for your cholesterol and blood pressure medicine.

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Song I'm listening to currently on my iPod: "He Went To Paris," Jimmy Buffett. Wait, a new song just came on, "Hold On," by Ian Gomm. (edit: as I wrote the rest of this entry, "The Last Resort" by the Eagles and "The Last Goodbye" by Poco also played back to back)

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While pondering a solution for my friend Chris, who is searching for a suitable haircut to satisfy both his wife (who prefers him having enough hair to run her fingers through) and himself (who wants something more manageable and short) it struck me that there are two options, the Mohawk or the Mullet. Then, it struck me that those two hairstyles are diametric opposites - one long in the back and short on top, the other long on top and nothing on the sides and back.

I sure wish I could busy my observational skills with something worthwhile. Not to say that Chris' dilemma isn't. I'm just sayin'.

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I wonder if it's normal to desire to be spanked with a fish. I'm wondering this on behalf of a... a friend. Yeah.

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I get both Playboy and Newsweek delivered to my mailbox. Strangely, those publications are to magazines what the Mullet and the Mohawk are to hairstyles... diametric opposites. I actually read neither magazine, they just sit around collecting dust.

And by "read neither," I mean "dig furiously through the Playboy for the pictures."

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A mullet is also a fish. Not a spanking fish, but I'm just sayin'.

13 comments:

Chris Cope said...

Business in the front, party in the back -- sadly, I don't think the child bride would see the value of such a look.

Kimmy said...

I know what you mean! I have always thought that the Quaker Oats guy looked like a pedophile.

OldHorsetailSnake said...

Playboy has PICTURES??? I only read the fashion articles. I love to be in style with the best wingtips, French cuffs, so on and so forth...

Weary Hag said...

This fish spanking event, how long would that tie me up for? And could I use a catfish cuz that would kind of tickle -

The Quaker Oats guy - VERY weird. If that's what all that fiber and oat does to a person, they can keep it.
I'll stick with my Maypo (literally ... you can use that stuff as wallpaper paste)

Kerouaced said...

That damn Burger King highstepping into the endzone is way creepier than the Quaker Oat guy. There's just something about him that puts me on edge...

Spinning Girl said...

Quaker Guy = creepy. Just what the f*** is he smirking about? I think he is imagining 12-year-old boys naked, or possibly partially clothed but swimming in a tub of oats (not oatmeal--that would be simply insane!)

Burger "King" = creepier than the Blair Witch Project.

I like the Gorton fisherman the most; he is brawny, he's active, older & more distinguished than most icons, makes a good living, and practices good oral hygiene. Every time he flashes those pearly whites, he makes me tingly in my tickle-place.

How about long hair for Chris? He could pull it into a pony for work, let it down for lovin'. All he needs is a strip of leather and he'll have everyone swooning.

Spanked by a fish? Too slimy, and the shelf life is too short. How about just going out for sushi, maybe a little slap on the rump on the way back to the car? Same effect, and neater.

I swam with mullets. They have suckymouths. The fish, I am talking about.

I think the diametric opposite of Playboy might actually be Highlights magazine. Let me check my math...yup, I got Highlights again. I tried to find the toaster in the bush last time I looked at Playboy, and it must have been really well hidden 'cuz I couldn't find it.

Also, I think people who use their blog-power to force a captive audience into following their stream of consciousness are socially irresponsible.

Lee Ann said...

Yes, that Burger King-king is freaky. Remember at first he was staring through the window?.....eewwwhhh! I can see why the quaker guy is creepy too!
You are precisely correct with the Walgreens being so close to McDonalds. I know this for a fact! You definitely hit that one on the head;)
Sorry to say, I don't like either hair style....hope your friend comes up with an alternative.
If you are not careful...I will spank you, hehehe!
Yeah, digging through fast and furious is more like it!!!!
Have a good nite!

jamwall said...

i only know the fish slapping dance..

Justice said...

I find that Burger King guy very, very freaky. The Quaker Oats guy doesn't get to me, but the Burger King guy reminds me of a stalker.

Lee Ann said...

:*( :*( :*( :*( :*( :*(
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Lightning Bug's Butt said...

Damn, I love random musings. Good point about the Walgreens.

lilly05 said...

Yup, we got the Walgreens on every street corner here too. The Quaker Oat guy is supposed to be smiling smugly cause he's regular from all the fiber and he's got a lower cholesterol score than you do! Ever wonder why they named a breakfast cereal after a religious movement? I do. Hmmmmm, you been fishing lately? I suppose the haircut isn't all that important if there's enough chest hair, the best of both worlds i guess. Playboy AND Newsweek? Both are chock full of quips and articles that are less than complimentary to Dubya. I say chose one and go with it!! Playboy has more pictures AND a joke page, I'd go with that one!

Spider Girl said...

Mullet fishes swim in schools with their mouths on the top of the water, making kissy sounds with these big white fishy lips they have.

Kind of sexy, no? ;)