Tuesday, November 08, 2005

More Things I've Never Done

Hello from the road... with more regrets. I've never:

Tickled the balls of a badger while crocheting a poncho for Hosni Mubarak.*

Chewed aluminum foil happily.

Shirts 'n skins volleyball with Bea Arthur.

Filled the dimples of a golf ball with cherry syrup at the demand of a journeyman brick layer.

Hoisted a bag of gnu shit above my head while humming "Rhinestone Cowboy."

Speaking entirely in Azerbaijani, used beastiality innuendo to shame a barbershop quartet tenor into transporting me to a taxidermy shop on his unicycle.
Allowed a squadron of gnats unfettered access to my navel.

But there is always... ALWAYS tomorrow.


*What type of person would use the name and reputation of this great man to advance his/her own blogging agenda??


Spinning Girl said...

Get busy livin', or get busy dyin'.

I think Hosni Mubarak is fun to say. I'm just sayin'.

Letter of the day: n'

Spider Girl said...

Mr. Mubarak's reputation aside, I'm pretty sure badgers bite...so take a while getting around to doing this one, okay? :)

awaterpixie said...

Do you really want to fondle a large rodents fuzzy nut sack.. hmmm..


OldHorsetailSnake said...

I knew a Poncho Villa, once.

Lee Ann said...

Dave, call me if you do the unicycle, I want to watch! ok? ;)

Anonymous said...

Well, I've neva chewed aluminum foil. But since u did, was it fun ;-) PEACE

Weary Hag said...

Don't worry Dave, there are a couple of items on your list I have yet to do too... and I've got some years on you!
We can only hope it will all come around in time.

Amandarama said...

No one chews aluminum foil happily. No one.