Sunday, November 20, 2005

About me (and it IS all about me)

I've been "tagged" by this Goofy Ass Chick in Cincinnati to complete a questionnaire. I LOVE these freakin' things. And by love, of course I mean hate with every ounce of my being.

But I'm nothing if not a pleaser, so when people like Stacy flock to me for a morsel, it truly is the least I can do.

What were you doing ten years ago?

I was doing a morning radio show weekdays, called "Dave & Sue in the Morning." We were on a country station here in St. Louis, and Sue was late for work approximately 3 days a week. It was a running bit to determine what time she would arrive. Many times, she was late because she had stopped at Denny's. I hated that my alarm would go off at 3:30 am, but I would do it again. Working with Sue was great fun, and my workday was over by noon! This is the Christmas card we sent to other staffers that year. Yes, it's a black Santa.

What were you doing one year ago?

Still unpacking, after moving into a new house. Planning a holiday party for friends. Starting my blog. My one year blogiversary is coming up in a week. I had no idea how verbose and mundane I was. Or how short and choppy my sentences would be in this paragraph. God bless those who forgave my early posts and continued reading.

What were you doing yesterday?

I started by drinking a pot of the best Eight O'Clock fresh-ground coffee I've ever had. "Eight O'Clock Coffee - since 1859, a nationally recognized roaster and marketer of gourmet whole bean coffee." Then, I attended the class AAA state championship soccer game. My team lost 2-1 because of a referee who mistook his own ass for a hole in the ground. Afterward, I went to a friend's house for grilled chicken, baked cheese balls and some of the most potent Sao Paulo trip-weed I've ever smoked. (kidding, feds, only kidding) We then cha-cha'd on over to a new country bar called Saddle Ridge and watched women ride the mechanical bull. I just hated that part.

Five snacks you enjoy

1 - Tobasco Cheezits
2 - Beef jerky (was that my outside voice?)
3 - Trail mix
4 - Popcorn
5 - Spoons of room temperature Crisco with buttermilk chasers

Five songs to which you know all the words

1 - "Happy Birthday To You"
2 - Gilligan's Island Theme
3 - "Ninety Nine Bottles of Beer on the Wall"
4 - "Heart of the Night" by Poco
5 - "Ee Mungu Nguvu Yetu," the National Anthem of Kenya

Five things you would do if you were a millionaire

1 - Purchase my neighbors' houses and totally kick them out so I could be as loud as I wanted.
2 - Buy a beach shack in the Caymans and get sand all up in it.
3 - Own a private jet with a fully stocked Krispy Kreme bar and an inflight Starbucks store.
4 - Three words: penis reduction surgery.
5 - Constantly be in the club with my homies, tryna get a lil V-I, keep it down on the low key, cause you know how it feels.

Five bad habits

1 - Cursing
2 - Not letting anyone ever hear me fart (wait, that would be a good habit)
3 - Procrastination (I can't even believe I'm finishing this damn list)
4 - Inappropriate thoughts during church
5 - Making shit up (things like I go to church)

Five things you like doing

1 - Snow skiing
2 - Travel
3 - Blogging
4 - Eating, trying unique restaurants
5 - Shoe shopping with Charles Nelson Riley

Five things you would never wear again (kind of a girly question)

1 - Lederhosen (just kidding, I'll wear them again)
2 - Knee socks with stripes around the top
3 - Inappropriate latex
4 - Girdle
5 - Pasties

Five favorite toys

1 - Laptop
2 - TiVo
3 - Treo
4 - Meo
5 - Mayo

I shall not, at this time, tag anyone... that's not how I roll. If you're interested in doing this, be my guest. But first, do some real, honest soul searching... because you might not be as interesting as me.


Spinning Girl said...

Laughing. Out. Loud.

I play with mayo too! And I think bad thoughts during imaginary church!

Mind if I sell my wares on your blog? Cuz I did this meme
long ago.

Oh, and my surveillance cameras inform me you left something pretty big unsaid in your "what I did yesterday" paragraph.

Lee Ann said...

What kind of inappropriate thoughts are you having in church, that you don't go to?

Weary Hag said...

I don't have inappropriate thoughts in the church I don't go to, but I have the "laugh the second I walk through the door" thoughts instead.

You're so lucky! I can never remember all the words to "Ninety Nine Bottles of Bear On the Wall." I was a real drag on school bus trips.

Hey, you did a heck of a job with this. (now rushing over to see SG's version)

Weary Hag said...

Okay, between that last comment and my last post (the one on Letters), I clearly have an issue with spelling the word "beer" correctly. I wonder if it's a Freudian thing.

Chris Cope said...

If you really know all the words to the Kenyan national anthem, I never want to see any cracks about Welsh coming from you.

SugarHigh said...

1st time here and I am wiping the tears from my eyes after reading your list. I started losing it at outside voice and really lost it when i got to the 5 songs you know all the words too. i may still be laughing in an hour. thanks :0)

~The Goofy Ass Chick said...

Awww, but look how much fun you had! ;-)

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

I've been thinking about a TiVo.

heidi said...

I have no idea how I got here

must. step. away. from. computer.

But so glad I did. You are it. Shoe shopping with...penis reduction surgery...damn I've gotta quote you just to leave a comment half as funny.