Friday, February 16, 2007

Bald Britney, Boring cars and fun Bags (or B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B)

"What is ya, ignorant?" - Billy Ray Valentine

Jeezus, you have got to be kidding me. Well kids, there goes any lust I may or may not have had for Britney. This is not a photo-shopped picture. She SHAVED HER HEAD.

This is the latest in a litany of premeditated occurrences in her life that indicate personal and professional implosion.

Thanks to my buddy Prepi for pointing it out.

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GM may be buying Chrysler. This would be a big one.

Usually when corporations merge, it irks me. This might be an exception for me, and I'll explain why.

People simply aren't buying American cars right now. Why? American cars have all the creativity and uniqueness of a stalk of celery. GM and Ford are BORING. These pictures should be example enough for what I'm saying. Do we really need another model of mini-van????

Since the American automotive renaissance of the 1990s, American automakers have lost the thread. GM is doing a pretty good job with their Saturn and Hummer branches, but that's just about... it. European and Asian automakers are eating our lunch in catories like fuel economy, style, safety and durability.

Daimler hasn't found a comfortable use for Chrysler so if GM, through a partnership with Chrysler, can absorb their car lines, US automakers will begin the slow climb back to competitiveness.

Now, what to do with Ford.
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Beads and puke will fly in New Orleans (and St. Louis) this weekend, as the Mardi Gras celebration continues. Translated, Mardi Gras means Fat Tuesday and it's almost a requirement to attend one Mardi Gras celebration. A 1000-count bag of beads costs 3 dollars... you'll see at LOT more breasts than a strip club, dollar for dollar.

I've never been to the actual Mardi Gras in New Orleans, but I've been there the week prior and that was enough for me. Don't get me wrong, you can never see too many boobs.

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Funny commercial I heard a few minutes ago: "If you have trouble sleeping because you have a strange sensation in your legs, you may have RLS - Restless Leg Syndrome. Ask your doctor about _________ today. Side effects may include nausea, dizziness, vomiting..."

If nausea, vomiting and dizziness isn't worse than having a restless leg, WTF.

12 comments:

Jen, Fred, Jennifer or Mom said...

Yes, we do need another model of mini-van. We need one that has a battery that never dies, even if your kids do leave the door open all night. One that has a grate system on the floorboards so that all the nasty boy stuff that drops on the floor, just falls through the grate and flies out the back as I drive down the hwy.

We need a minivan that automatically straps kids in, that has a divider from the drivers seat so that mom doesn't have to listen to hooligans mouths. We need one that has an automatic smell sensor so that when sweaty boys decide to take off socks and shoes it takes care of that offense odor before it reaches mom.

Oh, I could go on and on...but I won't...done. Have a fabulous weekend Dave and Emily!!!

Blogarita said...

I personally don't think American-made vehicles are boring. There are several that catch my eye every time I see them.

I think the aesthetics of a vehicle are subjective and probably aren't the reason American cars aren't selling as well. I think it has more to do with the fact that most imports get better gas mileage than the SUV-heavy line-up the domestics have to offer.

I would like to think that it might also have to do with the fact that everybody and his dog bought a new car when interest rates were so low a few years ago and have come to realize they don't need a new car yet and are hanging on to what they have.

Sadly, that probably isn't the case.

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Fantastagirl said...

Bald is not beautiful on Britany... just saying.

and I'd rather have the RLS than dizziness, vomiting.... but maybe I'm weird that way.

gary said...

Hey....I shaved my head once but didn't get my pic in the news....what's up with that????

I did get to choke out bird-man though...so I guess it all washes out!!!!

Lee Ann said...

Britney's latest escapade has done wonders for the morale of average looking woman all over the world.

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

I buy Toyota. How can Corrolas with 300,000 miles be wrong?

OldHorsetailSnake said...

Let's see....How long has it been since I owned an American-made car? Think 1959.

Lee Ann said...

Isn't it every guy's dream to have a hummer????

Amandarama said...

I'm with LBB on the Corrolas.

Re: Britney - I think she's flaming out spectacularly in the public eye so that she purposefully loses custody of her kids. She's decided she'd rather be a club bimbo.

Weary Hag said...

And you tell me there's a lot of 'puke' going on at The Outpost? Egad. Between this post and the one following it, you didn't do too bad a job yourself at including it.

Britney - I really didn't need to see her scalp shape - know what I mean?

Cars - I used to be a dedicated Chevy fan myself - to my thinking, Chrysler comes up with great looks on the outside, but the interiors are as plain as a brown paper bag. Boring dashboards, etc. I'm always reminded of riding in dirty gypsy cabs in the city when I sit in someone's Chrysler. Ew.

Ari said...

Brit is a used-up igmo.