Sunday, May 07, 2006

It ain't Better Homes & Gardens,* but...

I said I would... and I did. (which is highly unusual, but anyway...)

Here, I hung pictures and arranged stuff on shelves. Goody for me. Give me a freaking medal.

I hung these shelves on the wall and put kitchy shit on them. Thank god for those easy drywall anchor things that just screw in. Viola! I'm a goddamn decorator!

I was brilliant enough to sit these plates up on the shelves next to the huge 1,000 pound milk cans. Go ahead, touch the hem of my garment.

I saw this wall and decided that it needed some shit. So I put some up. Whatta ya think?

I also put my amazing hanging prowess to work in the commode. I can now shave without sameness, bathe without boredom. Pee without pococurantism.

It took NINE months for me to decorate some walls. Still to go: my master bedroom, the family room, bar and my daughter's room. Hey, one year at a time.

*who'd WANT it to be like BH&G anyway? (which is the same thinking poor people use when saying things like "I wouldn't WANT to be rich." BS!)


~The Goofy Ass Chick said...

You scared the bejesus out of me when I first clicked on your site. I thought you had deleted your blog and someone else had taken it over. (It's been happenin' lately).

Love the new decorating Dave. Although it took you a while, you have a great sense of style. You don't even need those Queer Eye dudes. :-) Oh, and I love the bathroom paint color.

CP said...

Okay, there is SO nothing hotter than a guy who can decorate. My husband thinks "decorating" means..."Babe, I got us some BLUE toilet paper. You know, to match the bathroom!"

Yeah. Okay, Mr. Colorblind? First off, the bathroom is lavender and spearmint. Ain't no blue in there.

Second? Who the hell does colored toilet paper anymore?

So 70's.

Can you give him a lesson or two?

Mmmmmmkay? Thanks.


Blogarita said...

And all this time I thought pococurantism meant you were afflicted with tiny sour berries.

BTW, you have great taste!

Fantastagirl said...

I am jealous - I want the milk cans...

BH&G called - they want you - they really really want you.

❉ pixie ❉ said...

Love the modern decor.

Kimmy said...

I think you mean "kitschy" but it was a nice try, my little goyim.
Nice Tsatskes, by the way. I don't think it's dreck at all. Plus, so clean! Not a bit of shmutz. What a good boy. Any cleaner though and some might think you are a bit of a faygala.

Susan R. said...

It looks good, I have a stuffed Turkey which would look good on top of your TV cabinet and a Shoulder Mounted Deer head, if you would like to add it to your decorations. I'll have to sneak it out of house while husband is gone though. LOL

~Tamara Ann~ said...

I think you did a wonderful job with your little project. Now you can come and do mine! ;-)

Chris Cope said...

Very Ethan Allen

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

Total seduction lair. I almost feel sorry for the first lady you have your way with in that chick-magnet of a pad.

Lee Ann said...

Dave, it looks great! Really it does, you have a knack!
Oh, I want to be rich, I do I do I do!

***word ver: rbedsuh

Anonymous said...

Dang man... that looks like a man love paradise! Who's your boyfriend? Does he stay there often? Did he help you decorate?

What happened to the Grand Marnier Hall of Fame? The wall of Wonderous Scotch? The Vodka Atrium?