Colonoscopies are never fun - although I have never had one, I can only imagine that putting something the size of an average microphone stand up your butt will cause pain.
Here is a list of things patients have said to their ASSMAN during a colonoscopy:
"Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!"
"Find Amelia Earhart yet?"
"Can you hear me NOW?"
"Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
"You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."
"Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"
"You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out..."
"Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"
"If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!"
"Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."
"You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"
"God, now I know why I am not gay."
"Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?"
Add your own, if you can think of one.
At age 42, I can imagine my doctor will be broaching the subject soon. I can't wait.