So as I lay on the couch today, sick from a cold some child probably gave me, I decided it would be wise to make a list of reasons I shouldn't be thinking about becoming a parent AGAIN.
- I am selfish. I grew up an only child, and I act like one. I am just not good at sharing, whether it's food, a chair or a computer.
- When left to my own devices, dinner can consist of half a peanut butter sandwich, some gummy worms, a handful of oyster crackers and a hard boiled egg. And bread-n-butter pickles right out of the jar. This IS my idea of a healthy home cooked meal...
- These days I am not as interested in the future as I am in the "right now." Planning for tomorrow used to be an obsession with me, but these days I'm leaving that to my stock broker/investment advisor. This makes planning a child's future a distant reality.
- I am prone to fits of wanderlust. The day our 13 year old leaves for college, it is likely I will desire to pack our stuff and move to a beach. Then maybe the top of a mountain. Then NYC. I may never settle down again. What kind of life would that be for a child?
- I have no intention of missing sleep ever again for anything that cries.
- Similarly, changing diapers holds the same appeal to me as having a rabid badger loose in my pants.
- I have friends with kids. I can borrow theirs from time to time. When I'm finished, I will say "here, take it."
- Teenagers are painful when they believe they know more than me. They are even MORE painful when it turns out they are right.
- I have no idea what the world will be like in 20 years - for the first time in my life, I am concerned enough to NOT want to risk it.
- The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog's back.
(that last one was just filler... for some reason a list just isn't complete without 10 items)
So, I will run this list through the printer and place it on the fridge - right about where the crayon drawings would go - to remind me my parenting days are almost over.
And from the looks of my list, that's a wise decision.