Thursday, January 27, 2005

Fatherhood... again??

I have become aware recently that, sometimes in public places I see people with babies and believe I could do that again. There's something neat about watching parents with their children - watching them feed them, play with them, cooing...

So as I lay on the couch today, sick from a cold some child probably gave me, I decided it would be wise to make a list of reasons I shouldn't be thinking about becoming a parent AGAIN.

  1. I am selfish. I grew up an only child, and I act like one. I am just not good at sharing, whether it's food, a chair or a computer.
  2. When left to my own devices, dinner can consist of half a peanut butter sandwich, some gummy worms, a handful of oyster crackers and a hard boiled egg. And bread-n-butter pickles right out of the jar. This IS my idea of a healthy home cooked meal...
  3. These days I am not as interested in the future as I am in the "right now." Planning for tomorrow used to be an obsession with me, but these days I'm leaving that to my stock broker/investment advisor. This makes planning a child's future a distant reality.
  4. I am prone to fits of wanderlust. The day our 13 year old leaves for college, it is likely I will desire to pack our stuff and move to a beach. Then maybe the top of a mountain. Then NYC. I may never settle down again. What kind of life would that be for a child?
  5. I have no intention of missing sleep ever again for anything that cries.
  6. Similarly, changing diapers holds the same appeal to me as having a rabid badger loose in my pants.
  7. I have friends with kids. I can borrow theirs from time to time. When I'm finished, I will say "here, take it."
  8. Teenagers are painful when they believe they know more than me. They are even MORE painful when it turns out they are right.
  9. I have no idea what the world will be like in 20 years - for the first time in my life, I am concerned enough to NOT want to risk it.
  10. The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog's back.

(that last one was just filler... for some reason a list just isn't complete without 10 items)

So, I will run this list through the printer and place it on the fridge - right about where the crayon drawings would go - to remind me my parenting days are almost over.

And from the looks of my list, that's a wise decision.


Dr. Mike said...

Reasons why you and Tawny SHOULD have more kids:
1) Because it's just dang fun trying.
2) You can now hire a nanny.
3) My future boy can one day bang your future girl...
4) You're a kid yourself, so you can associate well.
5) Because it's just dang fun trying.
6) Someone would finally laugh at your jokes
7) You get to taste all the new Gerber foods.
8) (JUGS!)
9) Chicks dig guys with kids.
10) Because it's just dang fun trying.

Spinning Girl said...

fabu old post I never read!