Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Scantily clad, nubile nymphs

The title of this blog entry is a cheap attempt to boost hits through Google searches. If you're a blogger, I know you understand. It's sort of like running promos all through the Superbowl, in an effort to get people to watch the other shitty programming ABC offers.

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I won the chili contest! I should clarify. I won one of the categories... there were three: Best Overall, Spiciest, and Most Likely To Make You Fat. I took Spiciest with great ease, although considering my chili contained a pound each of bacon, sausage, ground chuck, sliced strip steak and ground turkey, I SHOULD have won Fattest as well. Ironically, the guy who won Fattest made his chili with deer meat, which is considerably leaner than beef.

Oh well, there's always next year!

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I am preparing for a week of liver damage, called Country Radio Seminar, which takes place next week in Nashville, TN. There will be artists, radio people, managers, record industry executives, and various other categories of people, all in town primarily to consume massive amounts of alcoholic beverages.

I shall participate with vigor and resolve. I shall consume scotch with reckless abandon. I'm certain I will drunk-dial friends... so if your number is programmed into my cell phone, I apologize in advance.

No, truly, I don't apologize. Just leave your phone on vibrate next week.

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Them brainy Alabama people are at it again. Burning churches... the racist zealot's Disney World.

Fires at four more Alabama churches

Deliverance! Because of a few rotten people, the deep south can be a scary place to live and visit. Until those individuals get with the program, that region continues to be the only area New Jersey can make fun of!

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What?? Violence and murder on the set of a rap video taping? That's really hard to believe. I thought that Busta Rhymes was a real nice guy.

Stupid bastards. I think rap & hip hop artists with track records of violence (of any kind) should be rounded up, placed in a big prison, and be forced to vigorously sodomize each other until they can't sit down. Nothing like a good, brisk "in-through-the-out-door" to get your mind right.

13 comments:

Lee Ann said...

Gosh Dave, I was going to ask you to drunk dial me until I got down to the bottom part of your post.....hmmmm!
I promise, it is not like that in all areas down here.
On another note, Congrats on taking the spicy award. Sounds like you had a pretty good recipe with lots of protein. ;)

OldHorsetailSnake said...

Dave, you got to get some meat in your chili. Sounds kinda thin to me.

I think those fires were caused by some Danish cartoonists.

Lee Ann said...

You are just too cute!

Chicken said...

I made chili this weekend and have decided that I DO NOT like chipotle pepper in my chili. I makes it taste weird.

StringMan said...

Dangerous blog you've got here, Dave. Radioactive Chili. Drunk dialing. A deliverance reference, followed by an "in-the-out-door" reference. I feel a squeal coming on ...

Jasmine said...

Chili looks mighty good there Dave, you sultry radio personality!

-xoxo

Jasmine

jamwall said...

nonsense...a bottle of whiskey, a bottle of vodka and a bottle of wine can make up 3 meals a day!

rey said...

Your blogger readers need to know that the recipe came from me!!!! And i STILL make the BEST chili!

Dave Morris said...

I should point out that "rey," the wisenheimer commenter above, is my former spouse. She jokingly refers to a recipe we used to use years ago for chili. I did not use that recipe this time, I improvised! Although she's right, hers was really, really good. ;)

Weary Hag said...

I hate chili.
However, your fine use of the word wisenheimer in the above text might persuade me to try your recipe.

If you can't dream up an appropriate name for that chili of yours, how about "Vegetarian's Nightmare?"

Missed ya Dave.

Mishka said...

Congrats on your chili titles. Too bad the game wasn't up to par, huh?

I found it kind of odd that ABC had slots to even plug their shows...seems like they would have sold them all to make more moola...

Spinning Girl said...

Excuse me, but that chili photo looks distinctly like a chili from another time. You misrepresentin'?

Bob2837465 said...

love the picture of the scotch...

dork.