Saturday, February 04, 2006

If I told you the recipe, I'd have to kill you

The superbowl is nothing without chili. (right Em?) So I'm minding my own business, cooking this chili today at my brother's place in Jefferson City. (isn't that how all good stories begin?)

We decided, after combining all the secret, special ingredients and the hours of preparation, the tender loving care... that we'd go have a beer and cigar. Upon our return, the house was filled with smoke and the chili was. Um. Dead. We had somehow left the burner on 6.

Forty dollars in ingredients. All that precious time spent chopping, dicing, spicing. Perfection. Up in smoke.

After having a mini fit about wasting food, (I'm talking steak, sausage... er, I can't tell you any more) we decided to bake a pizza for lunch. 10 minutes later, the house was again filling with smoke.

What the HELL was going on here? Is it me? Is it the stove? Is it KARMA?

So tomorrow morning I will go back to the store, spend another forty f*%king dollars and start again.

It will be akin to repainting the Mona Lisa.


KimLB said...

Um, Dave? Remind me sometime to tell you the story of the time I tried to make brownies...3 times. And, just a thought here, how about getting CARRY OUT? Surely SOMEONE in Missouri can make chili that can compare.

StringMan said...

Let's face it Dave: you suck as a cook. Stick to blogging :)

I just said...

Yes, Dave. Surely that stove is to blame. If I were you, and I were in Jefferson City, I'd take that stove out in an open field and shoot it like a rabid dog. THEN, I'd go make the chili at a neighbor's house. One where they have a stove that works, no beer, and no "cigars."

Lee Ann said...

Damn, that stinks! I have done something similar to that. Made the perfect pot of "whatever" and gone away for a short time and burned the bottom part (enough to get the burn taste) and had to throw it all out. Yummmm, think I will make chili tomorrow!
I made homemade banana bread tonight, I will be glad to cut you a piece, just come by the castle!

Jasmine said...

Your chili looks tasty. Too bad it is burnt.
Hope the next batch goes better.



phoenix said...

Dave... lol Chili is best if cooked slooooooowww. Brown your meats quickly but keep the stove turned down and let it cook for hours on the second to lowest setting. That way all the flavors have a chance to do their thing in the pot.

Hubby raves over my chili... hope it goes better today!!

phoenix said...

Oh and stir often!!! *grin*

Trinette said...

Dave, Dave, Dave...

I thought I smelled something burning.

Amandarama said...

Two words, Dave: Crock Pot.

You can brown the meats in the crock pot and add the rest of the ingredients and then turn it to low and let it cook overnight if you want. It takes the oven right out of the equation and also makes the dish easily portable and reheatable. That's how my mom does hers and my mom knows her chili.

Enjoy the game today!

Dave Morris said...

I feel the need to comment.

First, Amandarama, a crock pot is no way for a real chili purist to create such a masterpiece. In other words, I SHOULD have used a crock pot... but we didn't have one big enough.

We turned the stove on 6 to get it "going," with the intention of turning it back down. Ah, the best laid plans of mice and men... especially when that evil beer is in the equation.

Anyway, I'm headed back to the store now for a second set of chili supplies. I shall stay home this time during the cooking procedure.

Spinning Girl said...

I strongly urge you to stick to canned chili. Leave the cooking to the pros.

Raynwomaan said...

I'd be almost willing to risk death for a good chili recipe. I could probably be convinced to engage in some rather naughty activities for a good chili recipe. Especially if it's spicy chili!

Mishka said...

I was hoping we could have a bit of a party today for the Superbowl but alas, it will not happen. That's okay, we will watch, root and eat too much all on our own!!!

Good luck with the chili today.