It's time to license my truck. First, I should point out that it's well PAST time to license my truck, that deadline passed in October. Yes, I know what you are thinking. Totally screw you.
I have, through a series of (mostly failed) attempts, managed to acquire copies of my paid personal property receipts for the past two years. I've also dug through boxes, still unpacked from the move last August (again, I know what you are thinking... and again, totally screw you), and found my license renewal form.
Now, I need to dig through my glove box and fish out my proof of insurance forms... which are likely buried beneath the ketchup packets, ice scraper, Taco Bell napkins, pens, post-it notes containing unknown people's phone numbers, half-packs of gum, straws, mints, phone charger cables, condoms, CDs, chapsticks, deposit receipts, withdrawal receipts, change, hair brush, golf tees, flash light, business cards and year-old fortune cookies.
By this time, there's still no light at the end of the tunnel. I now have to wait in line at the emissions testing facility to make sure my (practically new) truck is within the state standards for a clean exhaust. Oh, sure - that rusted-ass 1969 El Camino that just passed me with black smoke pouring out from under the hood is FINE, but my truck... oooh, better double check it. By the time I'm finished, I'd sooner wrap my lips around the exhaust pipe and drift off into a carbon monoxide-induced dirt nap, than do one more goddamn thing toward getting my new plates.
But, nooooo. I still have to get a state vehicle inspection... where they put my (again, practically new) truck up on the rack to see if it is "safe." Guess what... that fucking El Camino with the black smoke, bad tires and no bumpers has new plates on it! I'm guessing my ride is fine.
Only after doing all of these things, will I be allowed to go to the DMV and stand in line for hours so I can get a little green 2006 sticker... which gives me the right to drive on Missouri's shitty, pot-hole filled, disrepaired goddamn roads.