Thursday, January 26, 2006

Age old debate


Since I was 16, I've felt 25. Physically, mentally, everything. Today, at around 40, I still feel 25. I approach life with the vigor of someone 15 years younger, only with more wisdom and better shoes.

I've never felt 40 until this week, when during a conversation, it was brought to my attention that I could be too old to date a 25 year old... and that maybe, when choosing prospective dates, I should redefine the prospect.

This, of course, is a highly individual opinion. Sure, I haven't been "out there" for a while, I've been married or committed for the last seven years... but when it was suggested by a friend that I might consider 25 "too young," I started feeling my age for the first time in my life.

Depressing. Totally, completely, astonishingly depressing. I mean, come on. I still do goofy, immature things and occasionally make rookie mistakes. I still blow stereo speakers and get zits. I sometimes still have to pump 3 dollars of gas into my tank. I've been known to drink TJ Swann and wear my class ring. I still spend time alone with Penthouse Forum. (no I don't, I'm just kidding) (actually, I'm completely serious) (don't be silly, nobody reads those anymore) (yes they do, I have the latest edition) (no I don't... as far as you know)

I'm not really sure what to believe. Age should be a number only, not a lifestyle, a rule or a restriction. Right? Do I really need to focus only on women 26 and older? Aren't women attracted to slightly more mature men because they are stable, sexy, stimulating and sane? (and maybe a little rich?)

Demi Moore/Ashton Kutcher. Michael Douglas/Catherine Zeta-Jones. Humphrey Bogart/Lauren Bacall. Who is to say they're wrong? A friend told me recently that "forty is the new twenty-five." I love it! If it's true, I could probably go as low as 19.

Okay, that was a little extreme. I'm going to throw up now.


Trinette said...

Hmm...Clay would have been just out of diapers when I got my license, and in kindergarten when I was a senior. What would have been perverted and illegal then works out just fine now. I don't think many people notice our age difference, and we certainly don't. I say go for it. Got anyone in mind?

nosouthernbelle said...

I have a friend who is forty and her husband is 65. Hey, he's got a sugar Momma! They love each other dearly. However, there are in completely different places...his health is dipping, she's getting her second wind. It's really interesting. Love and beauty are in the eyes of the beholder. So, on this subject, I can't really place an opinion.

Mishka said...

25 is not too young for you as long as she is a mature person....or you aren't, (which we know you are, right?). I don't think the age itself matters as much as the personality of the person does.

If you have things in common and enjoy each other's company, then go for it.

Pandora said...

If you can pull it off . . . go for it!

Spinning Girl said...

This post of yours comes at a really bad time for me. I have heard this type of thing before. Depending upon my mindset, my reaction to it varies. Sometimes I think much like Trinette and Mishka; other times, I have a less positive reaction.

As a woman approaching 40 (closer every day) I’m at a point right now where I’m looking in the mirror and noticing that my skin isn’t as resilient, my eyes not as bright, as they were when I was 17 … 19 … 25 … 35 …

It’s funny to find myself in the position of looking at younger women and thinking, wow, did my butt and legs ever look as good as hers? I was never one to really linger on my physical flaws (and lord knows I have 'em), but I am definitely noticing that I don’t look as good as I could, should, used to.

It doesn’t help that we are surrounded by images of youth, vigor & tautness everywhere we look. I never put much credence into the impact of this imagery, but from the sounds of this writing and others like it, the impact is there.

Don’t get me wrong—I see that you are at issue with your own age as well, and your hope that women of any age would find you attractive as you age. I think males & females alike would like that certainty.

For me, certain things are things I can work on and improve, but there’s no fighting the encroachment of old age. My body is going to fall apart, more & more each year, and I just have to get used to it. Not to mention fears that I will end up blind, walking with a walker, or riding a scooter. That is a real fear.

It’s comforting to know, however, that when that happens, the man who stands by my side at least has options. There will always be a younger, less worn-out model popping up behind me. Hopefully, I will have the wisdom of my age and not mind so much.

paula said...

Dave - Mike and I have some of the age issues, he's 40 I'm 29. When he graduated HS, I was 7. I find that kinda funny.

OldHorsetailSnake said...

She's faking. She's really trying to find his jugular.

prodgodq said...


Too young by whose definition?

Marlon Brando once said:
"Have you ever considered freedom from the opinions of others? Or more specifically, freedoms from the opinions of yourself?"

Now it doesn't matter that he said that when he was playing the totally insane Colonel Kurtz in
"Apocalypse Now", but you get the idea............
So date a 25 year old. Why not?
Who says you can't?

Anonymous said...

You know as well as everyone that these issues can only be decided on a case by case basis. Whether or not two people's paths in life are meant to converge or not depends not only on where they are currently in their lives, but also where they've been in the past.

And no matter how well two people are matched, it can be difficult to overcome the expectations of society, friends, and family who will perhaps not easily understand and accept a relationship of two people who have a large gap in ages. That can be a difficult thing to justify and some people can have a hard time dealing with other important people in their lives disapproving of a relationship. Acting as though it doesn't matter what other people think is often easier said than done.

Chris Johnson said...

I personally only see it as numbers. Except for in the case of Mike & Paula. That is just so gross! HAHAHA!! Just kidding! I think you both are able to make that decision. Not your friends.

Weary Hag said...

I say do what you want. My only advice might be to be on the lookout for motives. A 25 year old's mindset might be thinking "marriage and babies - permanency." You might just be looking for some occasional companionship. Or not. Whatever. Just a suggestion.

I will never forget the first time I felt my age ... which, at the time, was 48. One of the younger girls at work was explaining to someone on the phone (within earshot) how the person could pick me out in the crowd at the aquarium. She said the following DREADFUL words, "You can't miss her ... she's the older woman with lots and lots of long gray hair."
Until that day, I had honestly believed I was still considered 'young' and 'blond.'

I drove home crying and remained completely depressed all week at work.

Ari said...

All depends on the people involved, Dave. The age thing, like most things, is largely societal BS.

StringMan said...

Great insight Dave. For me, it was walking into a room of attractive young women, and realizing that they were no longer looking at me as a potential mate for the night, but more like "God, who's Dad is here?" Like you, I have many moments when I feel and think like I'm 25. Just don't look that way anymore, I guess. Sigh.

Raynwomaan said...

Age really is a personal matter. If you're with someone who doesn't behave as if they're "too young", then it really wouldn't be an issue. I think no one (except my mother) has ever made a comment about the age difference between my husband and me (15 years :). We get along so well that no one thinks about it. But then, two of my closest friends are 11 years older than me, so maybe it's just me. :)