Wednesday, January 18, 2006

American Idol, American Stocks, American Cheese

Regarding American Idol's premiere last night... WTF?

What were the judges thinking when they gave "Crazy Dave" a pass to Hollywood?? Is he another one of Paula Abdul's poke-buddies? Does he (finally) have difinitive proof of Simon Cowell's gayness?

In case you missed it, this guy's singing was as bad as anyone's, and he gesticulated wildly, as if someone had poured molten lava into his pants. He was totally freak.

And he survived round one.

I guess each season needs it's own version of William Hung??

There was also a guy dressed up as Goldilocks, (who seriously needed a leg-shave) a dude with a Statue of Liberty outfit on, (who was promptly dismissed without being allowed to sing) and a girl who showed cattle. (and sang like one, too)

One Paris-Hilton-looking, too-long-in-the-tanning-bed girl insisted on doing the Gary Owens hand-to-the-ear thing, presumably to help her hear her own voice. Clue for you, darlin'... you suck. Putting your hand over your ear made you look like a tool.

I know American Idol is a pop culture phenomenon, but it sure brings out the crazies. And people who know they can't sing, they just want to be on TV.

Right, Crazy Dave?


I sound like a news reporter in this story:

The Tokyo stock exchange was shut down yesterday, when a precipitous drop and trading overload triggered a shut-down mechanism. A scandal involving an internet company called Livedoor caused the event, combined with lower-than-expected profits from Intel and Yahoo.

So the Tokyo exchange lost almost 7 percent this week alone, the American NASDAQ is off nearly one percent today as part of the chain reaction, and I'm out some serious cash... because some geeky Japanese dude underreported losses 15 time zones away?

A global economy is the world's future - but it is a little unnerving when things like this happen. It makes me consider putting my money in socks, instead of stocks... and stuffing them under my bed.


Lee Ann said...

That really was good for a laugh, wasn't it!

~The Goofy Ass Chick said...

With American Idol, it's so hard not to watch. It's like rubber necking after a car accident-- you just HAVE to watch. There were a few last night I really liked too. I liked the big black woman who sang the Alicia Keyes song and I also liked the dark headed white kid who sang Frank Sinatra. The tan girl & her mother were the tops last night though. Good God what is this world coming to?

CP said...

American Idol. The trainwreck that you can't turn away from. How scripted was everything last night?

I'd love to get up there and bitchslap Simon...make him my bitch. I think he needs a dominant woman in his life.

Then again, he DOES have Ryan Seacrest...hmmmmm.


Amandarama said...

I couldn't bring myself to watch, but when I turned on the news I say the spastic freak of which you speak. He makes my sphincter itch.

If I was ever going to audition for that trainwreck of pop culture, I think I'd sing "Fuck Her Gently" . Just to see if I could get away with it.

Spinning Girl said...

I shot the deputy.

Mishka said...

Don't do American Idol...will watch reruns of Law and Order on TNT before I submit myself to that crap...along with a lot of the other "reality shows".

Don't get me wrong, I do watch some, just not the ones that seem to be in it for the shock value only.

As far as the stocks go...nice that Tokyo has that built in safety net, huh? Guess they don't ever have to worry about a "crash" since everything will shut down before that. I like the idea of a global economy but I too am nervous about all the variables in entails.

Chris Cope said...

And people laugh at me for stockpiling marshmallows. When the global economy collapses, I'll be the only one eating s'mores, bitches!

lilly05 said...

I have trouble watching people on TV that I wouldn't slow down for if they were in a cross walk. I suppose that makes me a bad person? I suppose that I would invest in socks rather than stocks(if I could save ANY money that is!)