In that spirit, I now list some things I plan to not do in 2006. Anti-resolutions.
1 - Play Canasta with my feet.
2 - Tongue bathe a badger.
3 - Make love to Bea Arthur. (would be a similar experience to #2)
4 - Cook anything for myself that will give me crippling gas.
5 - Lunch with Scott Baio in Saskatoon.
6 - Upgrade my subscription of Penthouse to the braille version.
7 - Consume rancid, boiled patty sausage with chopsticks.
8 - Quiet, thoughtful embroidery with Christopher Cross.
9 - Shampoo a Backstreet Boy.
10 - Watch Fear Factor.
PS - Speaking of badgers, go watch this.