Thursday, December 15, 2005

Thoughts, anecdotes, prognostications, colloquialisms and Bull Butter

When roaming the grocery store recently (guys roam the store, they usually don't come with a list, unless provided by a spouse - which is why we forget half the crap we came for) I noticed that regular bananas are 79 cents a pound, and organic bananas are 89 cents a pound. Correct me if I'm wrong... but didn't those nature f_cks save money by not using expensive pesticides and additives?

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On the same grocery trip, I noticed a sign in the parking lot, earmarking several spaces for "new and expectant mothers." I totally see the expectant part, but new mothers? Why is it more difficult to be a new mother than a new father? Don't we have to carry the same newborn, unfold the same goddamn stroller and tote the same assortment of binkies? What's wrong with a new dad using that spot?

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Hey Wendi Friesen, you're a sham! (in my opinion) You're a profiteering fake, a fraud, a soulless hack, taking advantage of weak lemmings. Your CDs don't hypnotize anyone into losing weight, sleeping better or getting rich. And that penis enlargement CD CERTAINLY didn't work.

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Speaking of shams, if Sam was a sham, were the Pharaohs also shams? How about the REAL pharaohs, were they shams? And what if they were talking about actual shams?

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Jaime Pressly. 'Nuf said.

7 comments:

Furzl said...

What no HNT this week? Happy no nekkid thursday. still i suppose Jaime Pressly could qualify. ;-)

babyjewels said...

Regarding the parking spaces: You had a point there until I remembered maybe they were considering things like episiotomies or c-sections. And that's just to lengthy and personal to put on a grocery store sign. Alright, alright, I'll go....

Mike A. said...

Isn't the phrase "actual shams" somewhet of a contradiction in terms?

OldHorsetailSnake said...

I got to the bottom of this post and forgot everything you were ranting about. Did I miss anything?

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

Yeah, what gives with those bananas?

Spinning Girl said...

The objectification of women is so wrong.

Unless it's me.

Mishka said...

Currently, it does cost more to grow food without pesticides, but if more people were to start buying the no pesticide stuff, then the big growers would start doing it too and the prices would come down.

Unfortunately that has absolutely nothing to do with why I wanted to comment. I wanted to tell you that you are shopping at the wrong store if you are paying 79c a pound for bananas...I usually see them for 40c or cheaper where I shop. Although I guess that could be your area's going rate, in which case, I feel horrible for you, because I would have a hard time spending that much, and I love bananas...