- You know how people bitch about slow drivers in the fast lane? I've never heard a slow driver complain about fast drivers in the slow lane, and I wonder why. Are these people more level or balanced or something?
- When sports commentators talk to one another, in order to fit both of their big heads onto the screen they have to get really close to each other. Their faces almost touch sometimes. I find it distracting and I don't like it.
- How do you ever really trust that the person at that restaurant table before you didn't replace the salt with quartz and feldspar?
- I fear electronics have taken the place of at least three of life's simple pleasures. Talking, holding hands and dry humping on the ottoman. Whoops, hang on I just got a text message. God that was sexy.
- Australia is a really long distance from here. I fear that will impact my plans to go there for the afternoon.
- I wonder how long it would take me to be interviewed on network news if I became the yard darts partner of television's Nipsey Russell.
- Dave is to journalistic integrity, as Men Without Hats is to Mozart.
- Stepped out the car, Levi's saggin', gold around my neck with my limb-walk laggin', walked up on my boys with the old E chillin', the box with the big beats and my boys started illin'. Yo.
That's all I got.