And now, the news...

Things that caught my eye in the headlines today, in no particular order:

Thirteen million a year. To play baseball. That's just bullshit.

The New York Yankees grabbed center fielder Johnny Damon away from the rival Boston Red Sox, reaching a preliminary agreement Tuesday night on a $52 million, four-year contract.

Not to mention Steinbrenner's beard-n-hair rule. Poor Johnny will likely have to cut his crop, which is, in my opinion, the only thing that sets him apart from any other player. I hope the shave and haircut have the Sampson effect on him.

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I could see this coming a mile away.

In one of the biggest courtroom clashes between faith and evolution since the 1925 Scopes Monkey Trial, a federal judge barred a Pennsylvania public school district Tuesday from teaching “intelligent design” in biology class, saying the concept is creationism in disguise.

No shit, Sherlock.

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We could be phuqued.

Scientists are monitoring the progress of a 390-metre wide asteroid discovered last year that is potentially on a collision course with the planet, and are imploring governments to decide on a strategy for dealing with it.

It WILL happen, sometime. Might as well be in 2036.

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Poor, "poor" Michael.

Lawyers for Michael Jackson and a key creditor are in talks to keep the pop star from defaulting on $200 million in loans secured by his prized stake in the Beatles’ song catalog, an attorney for the singer said Monday.

I don't want to seem like I'm rooting against Michael... but I'm rooting against Michael. Anyone who lives that far beyond their means needs an adjustment.