Thursday, July 07, 2005

Fingers, Prostates and Explosions (get your mind out of that dirty gutter)

Watching the coverage of the London bombings, it now appears there were 4 separate bombings at one time. The "experts" being interviewed on television are saying it took a great amount of planning, coordination and skill to accomplish it.

I'm sick of hearing props to these slimy assholes. All it took to accomplish this morning's bombing is 4 bombs, 4 synchronized watches and 4 demented, closed-minded, blinded-by-crazy-faith dickweeds who wish the world would remain in the dark ages and convert to Islam.

So hey news organizations... please stop reporting how technically and organizationally savvy these people are. Unfortunately, it didn't take that much effort.

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Another finger in the food? I read for the first time a story of how an Applebee's food preparation employee lost a finger while making salad, and how that finger was later discovered by a customer who was eating the salad.

Is it me, or does it seem very simple to just throw away any salad that was nearby anytime a person loses a finger?

When someone wacks off their own phalange, TOSS THE SALAD! Damn people.

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Green tea prevents prostate cancer? Cool, although the story doesn't appear to indicate whether you should drink the tea or use it as an enema.


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6 comments:

melodyann said...

Hey, I just discovered you! I saw your name on Hoss' blogroll, went to your profile, and just about lost a mouthful of Diet Coke with Lime. Your comment about slamming your face into a bowl of gruel is the funniest thing I've heard all day. I totally agree about the salad, I'm just thinking, if I'm an Applebee's employee, and I'm chopping a salad, and my finger gets chopped off, my FIRST thought would probably not be, "I bet that finger ain't in this salad. Go ahead and give it to the hungry customer."

Great blog you have here, Dave! And it just so happens that Dave is my favorite name for a funny guy! If I hear a funny guy, I always say, "That guy sure is funny, I bet his name is Dave." Of course, I know a funny guy named Mark, but he's no Dave, that's for sure!

Kerouaced said...

I totally agree. It is easy to be evil, to take advantage and hurt people. The people that did these bombings are straight up cowards hiding behind the false wall of religion. It is hard to try to make change by peacefully means but isn't that what religion is supposed to advocate?

OldHorsetailSnake said...

I got the "sure-fire" cure for avoiding prostate cancer: Have the sucker cut out. It works, too; I haven't got prostate cancer and probably won't ever.

Chris Cope said...

What annoys me is our response. We heighten our security level and cities all across America get paranoid and old ladies in Des Moines tell themselves they'll never ride the bus. Dumb.

Ari said...

All these finger stories smack of "urban legend" to me rather than "hard-hitting media coverage," i.e. wouldn't there be a side of arterial blood with the said finger salad?

It don't wash.

Weary Hag said...

After slicing off the top portion of my index finger, a snippet of my ring finger and having the top of my thumb dangling by a thread in a meat slicer incident, I can truly attest to the fact that there is SERIOUS blood involved.

Hey Dave... good call on the terrorist attacks... Ed said the same exact thing when 9/11 happened. With the lax security measures we had in place at the time of those attacks, four 10 year old boys (given the right tools) could have mastered the same feat.

Grrrrrrr.....