Tuesday, July 26, 2005

How does my day look?

As I plan my day, it's good I can read between the lines of my horoscope and parse it's rather nebulous message.

As a courtesy to you, the reader, I've included the original and the unscrambled versions.

What my horoscope SAYS:

TAURUS (April 20-May 20) With others, ideas will flow. You want to add a greater sense of security to your life. A discussion with a partner or financial expert could help you make solid choices. Tonight: Take some time off.

What my horoscope MEANS:

TAURUS (April 20-May 20) Convene a group of friends to brainstorm about your problems with the little league parental board. You should wait to attend another game until after a couple of anger-management classes and the delivery of your apology letter to the umpire association. Actually, why do you go to the games when you don’t even have a kid playing? Call your accountant to see if you have enough liquid cash to pay for the ump’s bat-removal surgery. Tonight: Don’t spend the evening with the umpire’s wife, as you’ve threatened, just leave her alone.

3 comments:

Bernadette said...

Sounds like you know how Don Denkinger felt...

lilly05 said...

Too funny! Thank the stars none of my kids are into organized sports yet!! I already suffer from road rage half the time, can't even fathom the implications for sports at the moment!!

Ari said...

I love these. They are a Dave trademark. :)