Tuesday, July 26, 2005

How does my day look?

As I plan my day, it's good I can read between the lines of my horoscope and parse it's rather nebulous message.

As a courtesy to you, the reader, I've included the original and the unscrambled versions.

What my horoscope SAYS:

TAURUS (April 20-May 20) With others, ideas will flow. You want to add a greater sense of security to your life. A discussion with a partner or financial expert could help you make solid choices. Tonight: Take some time off.

What my horoscope MEANS:

TAURUS (April 20-May 20) Convene a group of friends to brainstorm about your problems with the little league parental board. You should wait to attend another game until after a couple of anger-management classes and the delivery of your apology letter to the umpire association. Actually, why do you go to the games when you don’t even have a kid playing? Call your accountant to see if you have enough liquid cash to pay for the ump’s bat-removal surgery. Tonight: Don’t spend the evening with the umpire’s wife, as you’ve threatened, just leave her alone.


Bernadette said...

Sounds like you know how Don Denkinger felt...

lilly05 said...

Too funny! Thank the stars none of my kids are into organized sports yet!! I already suffer from road rage half the time, can't even fathom the implications for sports at the moment!!

Ari said...

I love these. They are a Dave trademark. :)