Thursday, July 14, 2005

Dave Facts, part VIII

Get a bucket, but leave the syrup of ipecac in the drawer, you won't need it. Here's yet another boring installment of "Things About Dave!"

81- I once rebuilt a carburetor on my 1972 Gran Torino. It was an interesting project and my first venture into self-service garage work. When my Grandpa died, I lost the confidence to do any more of it.

82- Speaking of my Grandpa, there has never been a greater man born.

83- I have been married 3 times. THREE. Don’t freaking judge me.

84- Between HBO’s SIX FEET UNDER, THE SOPRANOS and CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM, I have no use for network TV. Except for HOUSE, CSI, DAILY SHOW, BOSTON LEGAL and DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES. But I’m really not all that into TV.

85- If I could get away with eating Chinese food once a day, I would. Except for the explosive impact it would have on my digestive system, there are no drawbacks to that diet for me.

86- I have whitewater rafted down the Arkansas River in Colorado with a buddy. We did the “big boy” rapids and I’m fairly sure it was the most thrilling thing I’ve ever done. I nearly shat myself, and DID piss into the raft at one time, but it simply mingled with the piss of the other 7 guys in the raft so nobody could tell it was mine.

87- I was an “only child” until I was 32. When I found my Dad, I learned he had a daughter who is my half-sister Kimberly. She lives in San Diego with three great kids and I hardly ever get to see them. My fault.

88- I enjoy going to the movie theater alone. Not many people do, but I actually like it. Although it gives me nobody to blame the farting on.

89- I speak fluent French, and not the foreign language kind. I have to be careful around my kids, lest I provide a bad example. I try to keep the goddamn curse words to a minimum in my writing though. Sometimes I fail. Son of a bitch.

90- I have large collections of ball caps and cigar lighters. Neither intentionally, actually. I buy cigar lighters compulsively almost every time I buy cigars. As for ball caps, I just seem to have a lot of them, like two big boxes full, mostly freebies. And yet I hardly ever wear them.


OldHorsetailSnake said...

You're going to get to 100 far faster than me, and I started first. I think my problem is that I never did anything interesting, like get shot out of a cannon, or jump a motorcycle across the Grand Canyon. You have done all that stuff...

Bernadette said...

What fraction are Cardinals' caps?

Rob Seifert said...

Seeing that torino takes me back a few years. Shade-tree mechanicing(probably not a real word) is something I always think I'll enjoy until I get my hands dirty. One time, I got wise and wore surgical gloves to avoid the dirty hands. Instead I got really sweaty latex smelling hands which, as it turns out, was actually worse. I'm with you on the Chinese food, especially good Chinese food. You know what I'm talking about, the Chinese food you obsess about for days until you calculate that enough time has passed that the sweet old lady at the counter won't heckle you too severely for being in there all the time.


Chris Cope said...

I agree about network TV; it's mostly useless. And "Daily Show" isn't on network TV. It's on Comedy Central.

Franklin Roosevelt said that a second marriage is a triumph of hope over experience. Of course, Nietzsche said that hope is the greatest of all evils, but he was a grumpy bastard who died of syphilis.

My brother and I will be replacing the brakes on my truck this weekend. I'll take pictures so you can remember how much it sucks to work on a car.

Amandarama said...

I would eat Chinese food everyday too. Of course that would probably be when a latent allergy to MSG triggered and my head exploded. Just like Mom.

Weary Hag said...

I will NOT pass judgement on you for having walked the aisle three times. I will NOT. Mainly because I have too. People ask me why and I keep saying "well if they'd just quit asking me, I'd be fine." Joking of course, still ... it kinda shuts them up.
Nice old car! Just the other day I was discussing with Ed how I used to love it when carburators had that little choke thingy on top cause it always made me feel like I knew how to work on my car when I flooded the engine and could stick something in there to hold it open so the thing would start. Now I feel lost. :(
Again, I totally love your "things about Dave" posts.

Dave Morris said...

Gene, I've never had 180 visitors a day on my blog, so clearly you've done plenty of interesting things... so quit yer bitching.

Bonnie, I have ONE Cardinals cap in the collection, it's a fitted cap and I bought it about a half size too small... so I can't even really wear it. DAMN.

Robert, if you were closer, I can tell we'd be frequent social drinkers. We see the world through similar lenses.

Chris, at one time I could have changed the brakes. One day I will take a refresher course, but until then, I shall diligently await your pictures...

Amanda, I will only eat MSG-free chinese food, although I have no proof it has ever affected me negatively. Except for the third arm I'm typing with right now.

Carol, thanks. Like Robert, we'd be dangerous if we were closer! hehe.