O'Fallon's Biggest Loser

Arguably I could win this one hands down.

But this is a weight-loss contest. I must say I'm completely prepared... considering I am a fat bastard that could exist totally on undigestible materials.*

Last night was weigh-in and measurement time, and today was Day One. My diet today?

Breakfast - I cut a fart and ate it. Then I choked down a spider web and chased it with a shotglass of diet tonic water. (which was actually vodka but why does Emily have to know?)

Lunch - Marmoset jerkey and a soup of toenails 'n barley.

Dinner - Considering the stock market freefall today, I had to fight the urge to eat an entire skillet of Hamburger Helper, which is great depression food. Instead, I had rubber bands in (low sodium) teriyaki sauce. (and much more "tonic")

Dessert - distilled water. (Gilbey's brand)

Day one wasn't so bad. I'm feeling a little weak.


*I wonder why nobody's thought of the idea. Eat nothing but marbles for twelve weeks. You get a full feeling while subsisting on the ugly brown fat.

RIP Paul Newman

Man, the good ones are going fast.

At 83, Paul Newman succumbed to cancer today. A philanthropist in his own category, he lived a life that any mother, son, daughter or wife would be proud of. One of a kind.

So long, Butch. Godspeed...

Final wrap and pics from The Eagles

Welcome to the Hotel California. (has it really been thirty-two years since that song came out?)

After the concert Saturday night on the way home, I realized I had done something I probably would never have the chance to do again. The Eagles won't tour forever, Frey will be 60 this year. Just to see a band that was so influential during my childhood was a very moving experience. It made me feel old and young at the same time.

Of all the concerts I've seen (and that number is in the hundreds) this competed with Garth Brooks for the best. They were DEAD on with everything. Vocally the guys are all still near the top of their games. The audio experience was perfect. The projection screen in back added nice depth and meaning to the music. Meisner, Felder and Leadon are missing and it's not exactly the same without them... but they are still The Eagles.

And I will never forget the night.

The crowd was into the show, but this guy (who happened to be a row in front of us) stole my heart. He was utterly enveloped in the music, oblivious to everything around him except to occasionally turn around to prod his friends into standing and swaying.

More often than not, people like that get weird looks... but I think they've got it right. I actually wish the rest of us were more like him.

An Eagles live blog event

I'm live at the Eagles concert at the Scottrade Center in St. Louis. Our seats are pretty spectacular - we got them through an American Express cardholder pre-sale. I've never paid 200 for a concert ticket before. We're probably 50 feet from the stage and Dr. Mike and I have made a bet about the first song. I say "Already Gone" and Mike is going with "Hotel California." he is full of shot of course, they'd never start with that song.

I'll let you know!

UPDATE 8:45 pm: Mike technically won. They played Hotel California fifth. Witchy Woman and I Can't Tell You Why are among the first set of 10 songs. The sound is amazing and the guys sound 25 years old. In oh, Lyin' Eyes is on, gotta run...

UPDATE 9:45 am, 9/21/08: During the previous three paragraphs and after writing about two more fairly lengthy ones on this post, my iPhone browser had crashed about five times, so I gave up. Hey Apple, STOP airing commercials about the "total internet," and how much better Mac products are than PC/Vista until you can get a simple browser to function reliably on your platform.

I'll write more later tonight from my never-crashed-once Vista laptop, and I'll post pictures as well.

Captionating

You have got to be shitting me.

If they're good enough for Ditka...

Is the bear worthy?

Yeah, OK. It's worthy.

I must have caught the flu last night

Our friends Wendy and Chris threw a righteous '007' party last night, where each attendee dressed up as a character from a James Bond movie. As you might imagine, Pussy Galore was well represented and so were martinis.

Em was Dr. Christmas Jones, wearing scrubs and a santa hat, and I was an extra from one of the pool scenes, wearing swim trunks and a T-shirt. Yeah I took the easy way out - although halfway through the night I put on my second 'costume' by applying gold paint to my left middle finger.

Em came home early and I grabbed a ride home later. I must have gotten the flu at the party because two hours after I got home and passed out on the couch, I woke up and had to run to the restroom. I haven't puked in forever.

The flu sucks.

Peach Face

Grayson has begun eating solid foods. (well, as solid as pureed bananas and sweet potatoes can be)

It appears he doesn't like peaches... or is it just me?

A smattering of photos (and by "smattering" I mean two)

While the van was in the shop getting $2,100 in repairs for a hit-and-run, I rented this:


It made me miss my old pickup. The Toyota Tundra is a really nice truck, but got really bad mileage. I'd prefer the Tacoma if forced to choose one.

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Last weekend I made my famous Skidmark Chili. It was probably the best batch I've ever made, with just the right mixture of savory, sweet and hot. It's very chunky and features five kinds of meat.

Dr. Mike printed up a shirt to commemorate the event.


Yeah that's right. I'm smooth.

Helium's illegitimate little brother

From the "I didn't know that" file:



I need to buy cans of both and keep them in my studio.

Other such fun videos courtesy of Wired.com here.

Oh that makes me feel better...

I had a procedure yesterday in which they removed two "curious" moles from my back. When I returned home I told Violet that I might have to depend on her to change the dressings on them, considering they are well outside my reach. Sure, she said, no problem.

I hate to ask her to do that kind of thing - nobody wants to look at someone's oozing, laced-up incisions. Her reply: "Eh, I'll probably have to change your diaper some day, so what's the difference?"

Sometimes Vi can be quite the beyotch.

This is the Bandit, signing off...

Jerry Reed died today. Actor, singer, songwriter, and a helluva nice guy. If there's a heaven, Chet Atkins is smiling... he got his old pickin' partner back.

R.I.P. Jerry. He was 71.

If you love good picking, you won't find much better than this. It's under 2 minutes and I think you owe it to yourself.


If you're too young to remember his early movies and singing career, you would probably recognize him as opposing Coach Red Beaulieu in The Waterboy.

"In a world..."

Don LaFontaine has died.

He was the voice of about 5000 movie trailers, countless commercials, nearly all the big awards shows and was a hero of mine.

R. I. P. Don.

Here's his website. And here are a couple of videos you'll enjoy.

Gustav and Hanna and Ike, oh my...

I spent a big part of the weekend watching coverage of Gustav in real-time, both on the Net and the bird. New Orleans dodged a bullet this time, considering cities aren't meant to exist below sea level BY THE SEA.*

I wonder how much bitching there will be when people get back home and find out they didn't have to leave after all. You can never please all the people all the time. I am very happy for the folks of N.O., good for you guys! Let's hope you are out of the woods for the rest of the season.

Now on the heels of Gustav come Hanna and Ike, both threatening to wreak havoc along the eastern seaboard over the next two weeks. This pattern is definitely a boon for TWC.

Otherwise our weekend was one big BBQ/party/family fest. Not very restful, but definitely worthy of the label "among the best-ever Labor Day weekends."


*I love New Orleans and hope it remains forever as a monument to human ingenuity and sticktoitivness. I just hope they finish the work on those levees... I can't believe three years after Katrina they still aren't completely shored up and strengthened.