Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Bailing wire and chewing gum feeling "left out"

I drove my Chrysler 300 SRT8 on the trip to Columbia yesterday. It gets better mileage (by just a little) than the Hummer and has an input for my iPod, so that made the decision easy.

About 30 seconds after I headed west on the interstate, I heard a loud flapping noise. I immediately pulled over, but I already knew what it was.

Some background - the Chrysler 300 SRT8 is a freaking beast. It produces 425 HP from a bored out 6.1 liter, Mercedes Benz-built Hemi V-8 (zero to 60 in 4.7 seconds) and is one of the last of the American muscle cars. I've raced mine twice (impromptu fashion at a stoplight) and never had to put the pedal to the floor. Honestly, you'd have to spend 100 grand for a factory vehicle that can beat this Chrysler.

Trouble is, it has a really low profile front spoiler. Sometimes it's impossible NOT to hit it against the concrete barriers in parking lots. Which is exactly what we did the last time we drove it.

The undercarriage piece had popped out of place and was catching the wind. I pulled over onto the shoulder, did some tucking and popping into place and thought I had fixed it, but in about 120 miles my handy-work came undone. I was out in the middle of nowhere with a top speed of 20 mph before the panel would start flapping against the inside of the tire.

So I did the only thing I could do... I bought some duct tape off a guy and used it to fix my car. I can't decide if that's a new high or low for me, but it happened. I made it home with a 2.99 roll of tape.

Screw you, McGyver.

8 comments:

Blogarita said...

You must have watched a lot of MacGyver when you were young. Either that or Red Green.

Weary Hag said...

I don't think this qualifies as trailer trash unless you leave it on there longer than a week before getting it fixed.

I also LOVE LOVE LOVE that you said "which is exactly what WE did the last time WE drove it" ... clearly not placing blame on either of you.

You are one heck of a wise dude!

Violet said...

Haha, Weary Hag... Very astute observation! We'll leave it up to the audience to decide who was in the driver's seat when the scrapage occurred. :o)

Dave Morris said...

Blogarita, funny I added the "screw you McGyver" line to my story... then saw your comment. It must be a testimonial to our common really-bad-television-watching habits. If I only had a piece of string and a paperclip, I could explain it better...

Max said...

Actually Dodge Magnum's are faster production cars. Don't know if you have seen the guy's video from here in St. Louis that shows him booking down 44 at over 144MPH and getting nailed by the cops.

http://tinyurl.com/5adcaq

You should really get together with Grinner Hester, you really should :)

http://grinnerhester.com/

Max...

Dave Morris said...

Max, I'd take on the Magnum any day - at approximately the same weight and the exact same engine, there's no way it's faster - but probably within a 1/10th of a second 0-60 either way. Just sayin'...

That video was hilarious! I've done 130 on public interstate, but that was in my BMW 745Li and I didn't have the balls to do any more than that. In fact, I was pretty stupid to even go there.

Ev said...

i duct taped my boobs one time. it was for my senior prom. i shaved all of my chest hair off so i didn't think it would hurt. i was wrong. and every now and then, i still find a glue booger lurking in my armpit or my undertitty.

not fun.

OldHorsetailSnake said...

Duct tape can't be beat.