Things that unfortunately occur to me

So goes the cat foot jingle from the 1980's:

"My kitty cat craves chicken,

my kitty cat craves milk,

my kitty cat craves tuna,

so my kitty cat craves Crave."

You know what? I don't give a shit. I hope for his sake that he's craving Meow Mix again today. When he contributes in a meaningful way, he can choose his own food.

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Emily's running around like a crazy woman this morning, so I'm staying out of her way. She clearly has tasks and an agenda.

Isn't that man's finest role? Just being a stay-out-of-the-wayer? Grayson, ESPN and I will just be over here on the couch with our breakfast Budweiser until she needs us to work the grill or something.

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Yet another old friend has found me via this blog and Google. It's a guy I haven't talked to in 20 years, so we played catch-up via email this weekend. Very cool! We had a lot of fun back-in-the-day.

Several old friends have now Googled me up. Isn't it weird (not that I'd WANT it to happen) that no old girlfriends have seeked me out? I suppose that says something about my dating prowess.

Oh wait, I always used fake names with girlfriends. Never mind.

I hope no old enemies look me up.

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Is it possible for there to be an epidemic of hypochondria? Think about that for a few minutes - it gets funnier.

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Here is a picture of some gnarly-assed chompers that'll make bile rise in your throat.







Remember kids, at least 10 strokes for each tooth.

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Speaking of teeth, my son just gave me a big, toothless grin. There is no amount of money that I'd trade for one of those per day.

Ok, so he just barfed on my robe and let a rather suspicious sounding fart. I'd consider trading those.

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New e-trade baby commercial with a Blackberry phone. I wonder how much it cost them NOT to make it an iPhone...



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I'm considering doing something so emasculating - so incredibly capitulatory - I almost hesitate to bring it up.

In fact, I've decided not to say anything about it now. I'm completely on the fence still, so bringing it up will only tempt fate and cause the cold, noxious prejudice to seep from your black soul.

I'll let you know if/when I decide to remove my own testicles by committing this act I'm considering.

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I'm pretty tapped now. I'll add more if I think of anything. Grayson and Dad, signing off!