What was EASY to predict is that I would get out and play in it. With the Hummer, it wasn't difficult getting around... although, had I owned a towing rope or chain, I could have almost paid for the vehicle last night.
Ala "12 days of Christmas," here's a recap of our adventure:
Twelve - Stops made before finding an open restaurant.
Eleven - Stops made before finding an open bar.
(making the approximate ratio of closed restaurants to closed bars 12:11. Can I do math or what?)
Ten - Number of "liar's poker" dollars I won from some loser at the bar. (er, I mean Dr. Mike)
Nine - "Vehicle-in-a-ditch" count per mile on I-70.
Eight - Lords a-leaping. (No, really. We passed a mini van coming from a Leaping Lords convention. Those bastards REALLY know how to leap.)
Seven - Number of people involved in the accident that closed down I-70 minutes before we got on, lending creedence to the old adage "you should pee before you leave."
Six - Number of beers stewing in the bladder of a certain birthday girl.
Five - Number of minutes it took, at 30 degrees, for her to squeeze those six beers out onto the pavement of the interstate in front of the Hummer while her husband and I stood with our coats open on either side so nobody could see.
Four - Number of times since I got up this morning that I've laughed at the thought of someone squatting and peeing in the middle of an interstate traffic jam in a snowstorm.
Three - New roads we made in the Hummer. (because we by-god could)
Two - Approximate number of HUGE balls it takes to blog about any of this, especially when you know there are clients reading.
One - Snow day today, complete with hot chocolate, a fireplace and the television remote. The whole thing about never getting a snow day if you work from home - is bullshit.
Oh, and just for you McKay... a picture of the dirty, ice-covered Hummer. Yep... I have one, and I'm NOT afraid to use it.
10 comments:
OMG TOo funny! Wish I coulda been there with a camera! Oh wait... Vi, the paparazzi nazi, didnt snap pics with her phone? I can't believe that! WTH?
LoL
Very funny stuff Dave!
I can't get the Mom Mobile out of my damn frozen-shut garage. Will you come and pick me up?!
At least you USE it. I get so sick of the yuppie bastards who are afraid to get their SUV's dirty...
The sad thing I live further north and no snow - the kids are soooo disappointed. Gonna have to show Pan a pic of your hummer... glad to see you "used" it!
That's a riot! :o)
Spouse Guy said he could have used a Hummer today. I told him he couldn't afford one.
"oh cool" said with a ton of amazement in his voice. My son is soooo jealous.
Liar's Poker? What'r you talking about man? Those bucks were the tip!
Woot Woot Woot!
can you say road trip to so cal??
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