Friday, December 22, 2006

"Genius" (with HUGE quotes) travels in packs

Lightning Bug's Butt tagged me for a MEME. I NEVER do these things, but for LBB, I will. First, it's rare that he ever does them... so when he does, he means business. Second, after reading his, I am amazed at one thing:

We are the freakin' SAME PERSON.

I will tell you six things about me. Then, click over and read the six things about him. You'll see how close they are.

1 - I own a SONICARE toothbrush. I obsess with the timer on it, but not to quite the extent LBB does. The Sonicare has a cool little feature, a timer that lets it run for a 2 minute cycle, then it shuts itself off. It also beeps every 30 seconds, which is handy because you can split your mouth into 4 sections and carefully brush each section, knowing that you will end right at 2 minutes. The game I play with my Sonicare is, I try to finish each section just a second or two early, so I have an EXTRA few seconds to go over the front teeth again at the end because I am a vain sonofabitch. Then, I always try to turn the brush OFF before it turns ITSELF off. I really need to find something else to obsess about.

Such as...

2 - How I look in the mirror. This might be more common than I think, but I actually don't mind how I look in the mirror. I freakin' HATE how I look in pictures, I am one of the most unphotogenic people on earth. (Come to think of it, any other planet too) I have a theory that we look better in the mirror because it's 'real time.' We can change our unsavory expression quickly, suck in our gut, adjust our smile and uncross our eyes until we think we look pretty good. Photos do not afford us the same quick-change capability.

3 - I am scared shitless of scorpions. Anything with a mouth, pinchers, a stinger/tail and 8 freakin' legs scares the shit out of me. Fortunately, I don't live in a hot, arid location such as Arizona because I would be a basket case. Once, my friend Ken and I were touring a house I was about to move into, in an area that is fairly prone to scorpions. As we were walking through the house, I made a comment about the possibility of a scorpion encounter. I continued touring the living room area while he walked upstairs to a balcony to look around. Seconds later, I felt a small "thing" drop on my head from above, and my arms became like a weed-eater, thrashing about wildly, slapping/brushing at the thing on my head, thinking surely it was a scorpion! That bastard Ken had dropped a little piece of wood onto my head, knowing I would FREAK. I haven't forgiven him yet. That event sealed my hatred and fear of scorpions to the point that I can barely pick up one of those gift shop scorpion paperweights without breaking a sweat.

4 - I have no fear of dying. In fact, every day at bedtime I think back over the day and wonder if I did everything to make the most of it. Good cup of coffee? Check. Click on Check. At least 30 seconds with my dog on my lap? Check. Click on* Check. Good dinner, glass of wine, some television or a good book, falling asleep thinking about a tall, beautiful blonde? Check, check, check, check. I figure that today I did all I can to enjoy life so if it ends, I'm okay with that.

5 - I have a thing about a clean sink. When the kitchen sink is dirty, I have to clean it and put away dishes. I can't tell you WHERE this tendency came from, but dirty sinks irk me. I use a bottle of Soft Scrub with bleach every few weeks because it makes the sink nice and white. This borders on a perversion, I know. Screw you for judging me.

6 - I hate loud noises. Especially when they are associated with a surprise of some kind... like a shout of "surprise!!!" at my birthday party, or when someone does something rude/loud to get my attention. I guess the root of this comes from my teenage years when science teacher, Mr. Breshears, would sneak up behind someone who was talking... and BANG his yardstick on the desk in front of them. I shit myself numerous times at the coaxing of that goddamn yardstick and I still haven't forgiven Mr. Breshears. (may he rest in peace) That is why I can't stand firecrackers... it just seems like an irritant instead of a thrill. Don't get me wrong, if a Boston song or Yanni comes on the stereo I crank that mother up. But that's by choice. Loud, when it's MY hand on the volume knob, is good. All other loud is bad.

So it seems Lightning Bug's Butt and I have many similarities. I'm not sure if, deep down, we're ALL pretty similar... or if it's Bug and Dave's similarities that drew us together in the blog world. I suppose maybe we'll never know.

*you KNOW you clicked that link! HA, there's nothing there you PERV.


Anonymous said...

I did NOT click the link. So there. I know you too well.

And who is this blonde that you're thinking of while you're falling asleep? WTF?

Oh, yeah - and thanks LBB for bringing up the stupid toothbrush thing. Dave and I discussed last night the whole beeping thing, which I had never noticed. This morning, though, I found myself worried after the third beep that I wouldn't be finished by the time it shut itself off. Great - another thing for me to stress out about.

Anonymous said...

Just like with all electronics, I seem to be very behind the times. My Sonic care does not beep, nor does it shut off after two minutes. Instead it does a funky kind of intermittent on-off-on-off thing that might be more useful if it were for a part of my body other than my mouth.

BTW, Mr. B never banged the yardstick in front me. He liked me.

Anonymous said...

What the hell is a MEME?

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

Why Dave, I'm flattered that you posted a Meme. It was my first one, and I only did it because NWJR tagged me.

I was worried you wouldn't, but looking back, how could I have doubted you.

Great minds, BDD, Great minds.

Anonymous said...

One of my sons and the Old Man don't like loud noises either. I wish he'd pick up your thing about the sink though.

phoenix said...

The reason no one likes the way they look in a picture is because it is not what you see in the mirror. The reason why everyone else likes your pictures is because it is what they see when they look at you.

In the mirror your image is reflected exactly what you are putting into it. Your left is your left and right, well is right. When a picture is taken it is completely opposite of your mirror reflection, but what other people see when they are looking at you. Your left is their right and so on.

Next time you have a digital picture taken... reverse the image and you will see what I mean. The image will show your mirrored reflection.

Not that you needed to know this useless trivia... but there it is :)

Happy Holidays!