Tuesday, December 26, 2006


Among the very cool gifts I received this Christmas were these items from my mom:

One is an electronic wine chiller, the other is a cocoa maker. Get drunk, sober up... get drunk, sober up... repeat.

Also this Christmas, Violet has replaced the bulky tri-fold wallet I had with a thin card/money clip device to be carried in the front pocket. I still occasionally freak out when I reach for my wallet and it isn't there, but those are my demons, goddam it, and I'll deal with them.

Other gifts received, in no particular order, include: a cool iPod boom box, two sweaters, two shirts, a laser level, Trivial Pursuit DVD game, a set of poker chips, a Family Guy fridge mag, a travel cigar humidor, gloves, and a partridge in a pear tree. Which was the strangest thing I got this year really, because who even knew what a partridge was? (And don't tell me David Cassidy because I don't need that shit in my life right now)

I didn't mention them all, but thanks to everyone for the fine giftage! More important than that, thanks to Emily and her family, my daughter, my mom and friends for spending some quality time.


I love Christmas. I really do. Would it be too negative for me to say that I'm really glad it's over?

But it isn't over. The "Garage Crew," a circle of friends who hang out at least weekly, are having our Christmas party on January 6th.


That is almost two full weeks past Christmas! By that time, I will have already begun drinking for St. Patrick's day, not to mention my tree will be down and the Santa-print speedo will be laundered and stored for the season.

I don't understand why people have Christmas parties after the season has ended. I know a guy who's company had their party January 17! Really, is there no way we can all squeeze in just a few hours of time DURING the holiday season?

I'll tell you why not... we're too busy shopping. Fighting crowds, maxxing out cards, buying things that people don't need, hoping it will show how much we care. We stress out, and really... what does it get us? Sometimes oral sex if the gift is REALLY good, but anyway...

Is this truly what Santa wants on his birthday?*

You know what I care about? Spending time. Talking. Being together. Slowing down. Toasting our good fortune, lamenting our bad, laughing, crying. For me, the season is all about just being in the presence of friends. That is ALL I care about. Gifts are fine, but when can we slow down and just... talk?

Just kiddin'. Only 11 days 'til Christmas II! Bring on the LOOT, people. Who's your daddy??**


So James Brown is dead.

He was a strange fellow, to say the least. Balls the size of melons. Truly. One of his redeeming qualities was how he made sure all the chicks realize "This is a Man's World." Ya know? Politically incorrect to the Nth degree.

Sex Machine, Papa's Got a Brand New Bag, I Feel Good... I tell you, a little bit of fabulous funk died today.

*for emphasis only, I know what Christmas really is wise guy.
**actually I really do think the holidays have become an overcommercialized cesspool of greed and ego, and I meant everything I said about just "being together." But if you can't beat 'em...


Anonymous said...

The cocoa machine works great. Wanna try the wine chiller tonight?

And thank you for sharing your Christmas with me. I know that you didn't get to eat Chinese food on Christmas day, but I hope it was okay anyway.

Anonymous said...

Sounds like you had a bang-up holiday. Congratulations on all the loot, but especially the DVD game and the Cocoa maker. Never knew there was such a thing. I got another DVD game called "Scene It." Very fun. Also a good drinking game. Happy New Year...

P.S. What did James Brown say when he got to heaven? (All together now) "I feel good. I knew that I would."

Anonymous said...

That's odd...I got an electric wine maker and a cocoa chiller.

Anonymous said...

I want the cocoa machine...that looks like a great gift!

Glad you were able to spend time with your family.

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

I'm still playing Christmas songs on iTunes. I'm not ready to let it go.

I love me some Christmastime.

Lee Ann said...

Glad you had a nice Christmas. I hope you enjoy your next one on the sixth.
Have a great week Dave!

CP said...

I got in trouble for saying..."Oh well, I guess Papa's got a brand new body bag." at a Christmas party.

I guess it was an etiquette faux pas or something like that.

Merry Christmas dollface!


LBseahag said...

ohhhhh...i get it now! you are either married or dating or living with Violet! Or she has the same countertop as you!