Some of the things found in Joplin:
- One store - Bob's Radio Shack, Bait 'n Tackle and Liquor Shop - where you can purchase minnows, tampons, an 8-track tape player and Stoli.
- A memorial marker which commemorates the historic horseback ride by Janis Joplin. She left St. Louis on a horse and rode it until it died of dehydration. That spot was marked and a city was founded at that location. Yes, it is the city of Janis, Missouri.
- There is a similar marker in Springfield, Missouri commemorating an historic jog by singer Dusty Springfield. It celebrates the founding of Dusty, Missouri. (this is the kind of stupid shit that occurs to you when you're sitting in a Holiday Inn in Joplin)
- A sushi bar with a mechanical bull.
- Twelve Waffle House locations.
- Zero Starbucks.
See you in hell, jealous whiners! Oh wait, I'm already there.